The Captivating Life of a Confident Woman

What Can You Count On?

2012-03-07T19:07:00.000-06:00

I've had a lot on my mind, more than usual these past couple of weeks. I've taken the past two days at home to be as quiet before God as I can be. I'm not necessarily looking for instant answers, but I am wanting to be still and KNOW. Ya know?

Again I'm scraping an empty bucket, yet tonight I just had to eat something that wasn't frozen. So I went to a local landmark and had a fried chicken dinner. It tasted like fish. LOL. But it was a warm meal.
I'm a little sad over some family.....I'm reminded of an episode of The Golden Girls where Blanch was trying to decide if she should donate a kidney to her estranged sister. Sophia, in all her wisdom said "if you can't count on family, who the heck can you count on?" Well sometimes you can't count on family. But you can count on God, He never fails. And you can count on friends, church family.

What can you count on?

Still Here

2012-01-14T09:45:00.000-06:00

I've just been trying out a new blog site........shhhhh

All Is Well

2011-09-03T07:21:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile since I've posted.Since starting my new job about five weeks ago, I have been so physically and sometimes emotionally exhausted I can't think straight. I come home at night after being gone nearly twelve hours, two of them from travel, all I want to do is crash....and so I do. I sometimes go to bed before it's completely dark. And that's not good because the seasons are about to change and it's getting dark much earlier! Ugh! But all is well. I'm settling into the job nicely.

Oh No!!

2011-08-27T07:26:00.000-05:00

With two very difficult days of work behind me, I came home last night to hear a hissing sound coming from my basement. Upon investigating I discovered my water heater was spewing water on to the basement floor. It looked as though it hadn't been doing it for long, even so there was a mess. And because I was so physically and emotionally tired I began to panic and cry and I called my sister and yelled, "what do I do, what do I do?" She made a couple of phone calls and my brother came over to do what needed to be done. So now I have no hot water. As I said before, I do not handle these types of crisis very well. But when this one was over, for the most part. I loaded up and left the house! I went to the Laundromat, and then went and had myself one of my favorite 'comfort food' sandwiches.....Arby's. Then I went to the grocery store and bought myself a much deserved donut. I had been so excited, I got off work early and was home sooner than normal. But when all was said and done, I didn't get settled in my chair until after seven p.m.

Today is Saturday, I have no hot water at home. But I'm not going to let it concern me. I have water. Lots of people don't. And I have friends who will let me borrow their shower! Hope they don't want me to return it. :-)

Anyone want a kitten? I have three that need a home!

One Thing.....

2011-08-12T19:40:00.000-05:00

One thing I miss now that I'm back to working full time......time to myself during the day! I miss my afternoon naps, my errand running, checking Facebook and e-mail and WRITING!!!

Day One

2011-08-08T19:34:00.000-05:00

My first day as a full time Nanny. I'm exhausted yet invigorated. The drive home was long and tense as I am coming home in after work traffic. Not used to that. People are maniacs out there. In a hurry to get home. I do the speed limit, they pass me like bats out of heck and still end up setting at the stop light next to me. I will be going to bed before it is dark! :-)

See What a Smile Can Get You

2011-07-10T11:41:00.001-05:00

I had such a busy day yesterday that I decided to sleep in this morning. When I got up I decided I needed to take my journal and go to the local Starbucks for a cup of good coffee. After I drained the first cup I went up to get my .55cent refill. The clerk said, "you remind me so much of my mother in law when you smile. You walked in and smiled before you ordered and I thought I was looking at her." We chatted briefly and then she handed me my refill and said, "it's on me." Then she smiled and walked away.

I know it was only fifty five cents, but see what a smile can get you! I sat back down, thanked the Lord for an extra shot of favor for the day, got a little tear in my eye.....and burned my tongue on the refill! Had to laugh though.

Life is fun.

Be careful what you ask for.........

2011-07-04T10:24:00.000-05:00

This morning while I was at breakfast I was reminded of something I heard yesterday...."What's in our heart, comes out of our mouth".

I treated myself to a $4 breakfast at Denny's. The hostess sat me next to a table of "adults" and one young kid, he was probably 12 or 13. Of all the empty tables, the hostess had to set me next to these people. That's what I get for asking God to give me divine appointments!

Most of the conversation between these people was to loud and to personal for public consumption. At least I didn't want to hear it.

This poor kid got harped on so much about one thing and another. He was told he needed to grow up, start taking responsibility and quit being a mommas boy. I could just see the defeat on his face. I thought to myself, "well maybe if momma would stop pulling his head into her visible cleavage that is hanging out for the world to see, he could grow up".

And the language they used toward him and in front of him. I mean come on, who needs to grow up? These were older adults, well dressed, except maybe for momma who for a woman her size needed to be dressed a little more nicely.

Then the kid accidentally knocked over his soda, spilling it on his aunt. What happened was she sat down and he moved to make room for her and over went the glass of ice. Again producing lectures from who I think was his uncle.

I had about had it. I finally looked at them, caught the kids eye and gave him a sympathetic smile. When I did, his face lit up for the first time since I sat down.

I didn't need to say anything ( but boy did I want to ).

Maybe everything the adults were saying to the kid was true. But their tone and actions needed adjusting. You can really catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Even hours later it is still on my mind and in my heart. I asked God to bless that kid. I should ask Him to bless the adults too with sense. :-)

How To Shop For Free......Book Review of sorts

2011-06-27T19:33:00.000-05:00

I checked out this book at the library, "How To Shop For Free" by Kathy Spencer. It is full of "shopping secrets for smart women who love to get something for nothing". That would be me!

I have always been a coupon user. Lately I have started signing up online with all sorts of coupon sites. This book is chocked full of websites not only for coupons but websites of companies who offer freebies and discounts.

However, I do find this book as with so many others out there on "saving", is geared to the "smart woman" who has a family. I am a Smart Woman, but it's just me so I don't buy in bulk. I guess I could, and then give it away. If I bought in bulk some of it would expire before I used it.

The only problem with printing internet coupons and such is that you use so much ink in your printer! And ink isn't cheap! There should be a webiste to find coupons for ink!

Do you coupon? What sites do you use?

Sale of a lifetime.....

2011-06-25T07:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I woke up at my usual time and decided I was going to gather some stuff up and set up a table in my front yard in the hope that I would sell some things. Wow, that's a long sentence for just wanting to say I had a yard sale! ;-) Anyhoo, after getting all the stuff outside and on the table I started to set up a sign. And I began to giggle to myself. The sign did draw some attention. You know how people advertise their sales by saying, "Huge Sale" or "Big Sale"? I decided to be different and my big sign said, "Small Sale". Teehee. Like I said, it drew some attention, however no one bought anything. Bummer. I'm going to try again today. Maybe I'll make enough money to buy some lunch! :-)

I'm Looking For......

2011-06-22T11:40:00.000-05:00

I'm looking for some new recipes. Would you consider sharing one? I'm wanting easy and not expensive! I don't want to have to take out a bank loan to buy the ingredients! Please consider sharing a recipe on my Blog and if I make it I'll take a photo of the finished project!

What Gives?

2011-06-19T18:32:00.000-05:00

While at my family reunion the other day I sat and looked at two of my cousins who are 65plus in age. They have both been married a time or two, both widowed a time or two if that makes sense. Yet they always seem to have a man in their life. Good Christian men. I mean where do they find them? Where do they come from? Do they have any young sons? Young grandsons? I'm not complaining I'm just wondering..........what gives?????!!! How come their 48 year old relative can't find a single date and men come out of the woodwork for them? Do they have something I don't? Do they know something I don't? Don't think so. Don't get me started. LOL

A Few Ramblings and a Question

2011-06-17T16:29:00.000-05:00

I turned 48 last week. Ahhh, yes Facebook sentiments are nice but nothing beats a card in the mail or a phone call or a "hey I'm taking you out for lunch"!

I made the best of all those free meal coupons I got! Denny's, IHOP, TGIFridays!

I have my second annual family reunion tomorrow. Last year I was in charge of it all and it was beautiful weather. This year someone else took it over and it's supposed to rain.....I'm just saying. :-)

I'm eating a bowl of Captn Crunch .....what's your favorite cereal? I guess it is my appetizer as I am getting ready to go see my sister in 'the home'. She has requested a bologna sandwich for supper. Guess I better go make it for her.

Hello??

Surprise!

2011-06-03T09:39:00.000-05:00

Those that know me well know that I frequent a local cafe here in town. Just about every Saturday morning I walk in at around seven a.m. and start my day with the rest of the regulars. I have met new friends and even done some networking there. This morning we had a surprise birthday party at 6:30 for one of the regulars who turns 80 today. She's a hoot. Turns out I went to school with her daughter. Small world. The person who hosted the party had a catered breakfast which was delicious. So one would wonder why I'm sitting here at home three hours later eating a pancake. We were afraid the birthday girl wasn't going to show up and I said, "well if she doesn't I'll stand in for her since my birthday is next Saturday." Nothing like dropping a hint or two. :-)

The Plight of Mamma

2011-05-28T08:09:00.000-05:00

I've been taking care of a stray cat for about a year now. She's had two litters of kittens that I have found homes for. She's a nice cat, doesn't 'stray' far from the house, gets in the car with me, is a happy cat. However a couple of weeks ago something happened to her tail. It has a patch where the fur has come off and it looks icky, not infected though. It doesn't seem to bother her. It does bother the two neighbor girls who were upset when the saw it. They came to the house with their mother and we talked about having the
'cat police' come and get it so that it could be taken care of. I then began to cry. I had to leave the house so that I wouldn't see them come and take her away. I drove around for a long time, did a couple of errands and when I started to head back home I saw the 'official' truck and decided to wait till it was gone. Finally I went back home and got settled, cried over the loss of a nice cat who I took care of and had a relationship with.

About an hour later I was in the kitchen and looked out the window and who did I see? You guessed it, there she was, looking in the window wondering where her dish of water was. I guess she bolted away from the 'cat police' ! Oh the emotions of it all.

What A Way to Start The Day!

2011-05-16T07:21:00.000-05:00

At four thirty this morning, with the cat laying on me nice and cozy, we were both awakend with a start. My music box globe in the other room suddenly began to play. It hasn't been wound up in quite some time. It's a globe with an angel in the middle and the word HOPE on the front. The song, "Beautiful Dreamer". Yes it startled me. I jumped up and went to look at it thinking....well the worst I guess. Then I just relaxed and rolled my eyes and went back to bed. The song stuck in my mind as I went back to sleep. The first thing I did when I got up later was look up the lyrics to the song. I'll share them with you.

Beautiful dreamer,

Wake unto me

Starlight and dewdrops

Are awaiting thee

Sounds of the rude world

Heard in the day

Led by the moonlight

Have all passed away

Beautiful dreamer,

Queen of my song

List' while I woo thee

With soft melody

Gone are the cares of

Life's busy throng

Beautiful dreamer

Awake unto me

Beautiful dreamer,

Awake unto me

I got goosebumps reading them. And then I broke into tears. That was God waking me up and talking to me through these words. What a way to start the day!!!

News From the Frontline

2011-05-13T12:57:00.000-05:00

So, what has been happening since we last gathered at the blogging hole? I have recently gone through training to be a Homecare Aide and I work with a local agency. We provide in home care and errand service to seniors. Three days of boring training, old videos and paperwork....I guess the training I got from my mother most of my life didn't count. :-) I continue to operate my business and have picked up another private client. I also continue to do basic housecleaning and laundry for private clients. A local business uses my errand service to shop for their office supplies and at times I even clean the office. I truly love what I do and do what I love.

In my spare time I continue to work on my mystery/romance story that my writer's group is helping me with. I have also started writing poetry. Go figure.

I love my Saturday mornings at the cafe where I sometimes meet with a new friend or set alone and write. It's nice to have a place to go to where "everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came." I walk in and hear "Jenny's here" and suddenly I'm catered to!

I continue to fully trust God for provision. Life has changed. And I know good things will come from this change, for one it has brought me closer to Him. Sometimes though, I prefer the type of change you find under the couch cushions!

Brief Note

2011-04-30T08:45:00.001-05:00

Me and my sister

As I continue to trust God for all that is needed, I find that I have more peace. That sinking, fearful feeling that comes when you don't know how bills are going to get paid, doesn't come as often anymore. When the thought pops into my head I immediately tell the enemy to shut up and a smile comes over me. I have God, he is all I need.

An Example

2011-04-14T07:55:00.000-05:00

I have an anonymous, discouraged, negative blog stalker who as long as they use bad language will not have their comments published. Sorry Charlie.

Here's an example of God's resources at work. I thought that yesterday was actually going to be my first day on the job, but there was a snafu. So I was a little bummed about that. However, the phone rang and it was a friend from church who owns a business and needed some errands done. There I was, to her rescue! I ran the errands, ( got some of my own down while on the job ) and got paid for it! I love it!! I needed that bit of money in my pocket and I totally believe it was a God thing.

Ahhhh....life

2011-04-13T09:03:00.000-05:00

I have finished my job training and thought I was going to actually work today, but that is not the case. I don't know how bills are going to get paid, I need an income now. Have $40 to my name. But I remind myself that I serve a God who has plenty of resources and I seek Him daily for answers. Ahhhh, life.

And the winner is....

2011-04-11T20:19:00.000-05:00

Congrats!

On The Job Part Two

2011-04-09T08:50:00.000-05:00

It has been a busy week. I survived two 8 hour days of job training. There are four of us new employees. Thankfully we get along, we have had fun and gotten to know one another. The training consists of paperwork, watching video upon video, taking tests, more videos, more tests and discussion. My title is "Homecare Aide". I work for an angency that provides housekeeping, meal preperation, errand service to Seniors. I have never "worked" with Seniors before but I have gotten to know plenty of them at the nursing home where my sister is. I love to keep someone elses home, fix meals and run errands so this is right up my alley. Next week I have two half days of training. I have to go for a TB test and finger printing.

Whew! I have not had a "real" job like this in many years. I prefer to work privately for people and hope to get back into that very soon. But I am looking forward to the income!

I thank the Lord for how this has all come about and for what He has in store for me. :-) He is all I've got, He is all I need.

Book Giveaway!

2011-04-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've done a Book Giveaway....so lets have another go at it!

The book: "Destiny Thieves" by Sandie Freed

Description-Defeat Seducing Spirits and Achieve Your Purpose in God. God is offering you a destiny greater than any you have ever dreamed of as you seek to build His kingdom. But Satan is working relentlessly to distract, seduce and shame you into defeat. Read and discover how to thwart the plans of the enemy and enjoy the destiny that is rightfully yours.

Rules: To be eligible you must make a comment to this post and answer the following question.

"What is your favorite month of the year"

You must also post your first name.....ANONYMOUS posts will not be eligible.

Deadline is April 11th. Every ones name will be put into a basket and the winner will be drawn out. I will then contact you.

Have fun!

It all started....

2011-03-30T20:17:00.001-05:00

Attention to my Anonymous commenter who is always telling me to..."get a job"...Guess what? I now have 2 of them!

But I digress......last week we received some rather distressing financial news. Instead of making any snap decisions we took the three day weekend to get into the Word and listen to what God has to say and to be at peace. I found I wasn't as panicky as I usually was. The bottom line was/is that in a few short weeks there will be virtually no money coming in from anywhere.

The business I have started is taking off. I do have a few clients but that isn't enough yet. I continue to pray about that.

A couple of weeks ago my Pastor's wife told me about a place that might just be up my alley to work for. I put it aside in the back of my mind for awhile. Today when I woke up I just knew I was supposed to go to this place. So I did.

I got an application.....took it somewhere to fill out and decided I should just take it back right away.

Stay tuned for PART TWO of this post where I will continue the story!

Bad News Question

2011-03-26T07:46:00.000-05:00

I thought life was tough at the moment until I read the headlines in today's paper about someone I know.

I received some distressing news this week concerning my future as well as my sister's. Usually when I receive bad news I break down and all sorts of emotions take over. I have been known to panic and generally become a basket case. However, this time was a bit different. I took the news in an 'ok' manner, shed a few tears and yet I felt peace. Not totally 100% peace, but I knew it was there. I know that total peace is available. I know whom I trust. And the more I trust, the more I seek His face and His plan, the more peace I have.

What do you do when you get bad news?

Learning to.......

2011-03-19T09:24:00.000-05:00

Have you ever given driving lessons to a loved one? Or have you ever seen a funny movie or television show where someone does? Do you know how nerve racking it can be to set in the teachers seat while the other person is in control ( hopefully ) behind the wheel?

Recently I gave some lessons to a family member on how to use a new computer, maneuver through e-mail and the Internet. I admit, I was a wreck when it was all over. My loved one wasn't familiar with a built in mouse. She didn't know what clicking on 'this' or 'that' did, "Stop, stop, what did you just do, how did you just do that"? My response was, "it doesn't matter, you wont need to do it". My patience grew thin.

Ok, so it wasn't as tense a situation as teaching someone to drive. But it was close. And it is now laughable. And a worthy subject to write about.

Life

2011-03-15T10:03:00.000-05:00

I've just been plain worn out lately. There are a couple of things in my life that just wears me out and at the moment there really isn't anything I can do about it, except stand my ground.

I know some people that are in the process of adopting a 2 year old orphan from China. They are in need of some major $$ to complete the process and actually travel to China to bring their new daughter home. God has been faithful beyond belief from the beginning and will continue to be so until they get her home....and every day in their lives thereafter. Please join me in praying for continued swiftness to the process. That the money needed will come in soon and continued blessings will flow through it all.

They are cutting down trees across the street from me. It's taken three days so far. You know how noisy that process is? Three days of it starting at seven each morning. I complain not. It will be different without those trees that have been there since I was born. Less shade.

I baked a strawberry cake yesterday, from scratch. Complete with real strawberries, pink frosting, ( not from a can ) and decorated it with real sliced strawberries. And then I ate it. Well, not all of it! :-) I should have taken a picture of it before I cut it. Next time!

Events

2011-03-06T07:55:00.000-06:00

It was an eventful week. Actually I don't remember much about it except for Thursday and the fun ambulance ride I took to the hospital. Chaching! I woke up with a really bad cold and could just tell it was messing with the asthma, so I called an ambulance. I know how I sometimes get and I didn't want to let it get to that point. I went to one of my favorite local diners the other night for some good old walleye, and I carried in my Beth Moore Bible study book. I sat, I ordered, and the lady in the booth facing me said, "I notice you have a Beth Moore book".....we never stopped talking. Her and her husband used to have a prison ministry and he used to take his keyboard around different places to minister in music. We talked about a lot of stuff. I have had so many conversations about things in general just because of a Beth Moore study book, or my Bible. I love interesting things like that in life.

The Other Night

2011-02-26T07:45:00.000-06:00

A few short years ago my very best friend and I had a parting of ways due to something she did that she shouldn't have. However because I chose to forgive her, we still talk. And the other night we actually got together for the third time. We just meet for a meal and conversation. Granted the conversation is usually just small talk but that's ok. Each time it gets easier. They say it is easy to forgive, but hard to forget. I find that very true. But the more I think about it, what she did back then becomes less serious to me now. I'm almost to the point of laughing about it. Almost, not quite.

Good News

2011-02-23T10:18:00.000-06:00

It pays to be confident! I acquired two new business clients this morning. I had a well respected local doctor tell me they trusted me because I show such confidence in the fact that I smile a lot. Thanks! But I always thought smiling made people wonder what you were up to. ;-) I do know that it is contagious.

A picture

2011-02-12T08:13:00.000-06:00

I thought I would post a picture of the place I go to for my inspiration. I especially love this picture because there is no snow on the ground!! CJ's Cafe, downtown Pekin. I took the picture on a Sunday so it was closed and the awning was not out, but this is where I go when I write, read, visit, surf the net, do my research, work on my Bible study and have coffee...and breakfast and lunch :-)

A Poem

2011-02-11T10:45:00.000-06:00

Ode To A Blizzard
By Jennifer Thomas ( C )

You came, you saw, you dumped

A ton of snow on us

You wreaked havoc with traveling

You caused the electricity to malfunction

But worst of all you kept me in my house for twenty four long hours

Though there was plenty to occupy my time

I sat and tried not to rhyme

But I just had to give in and do so one final time

Thank you blizzard of 2011 for causing me to write more than I usually would

And bake, and clean and all sorts of things in between

You can melt any time now, I’m ready for spring!

Question for you

2011-02-01T08:10:00.000-06:00

We are anticipating, I say that lightly, up to 22 inches of snow over the next 24 hours. The stores have been extra busy with people stocking up.

Have you ever been snowed in? If so, what did you do to keep busy?

I plan on baking some of my favorite cookies, reading, writing, and taking a nap. Not necessarily in that order.

If You Can't Say Something Nice, Don't Say Anything at All

2011-01-31T11:47:00.000-06:00

I looked at my Blog comments this morning and saw that someone anonymously told me to "get up off my knees and get a job". I deleted it. I don't need someone telling me stuff like that when they know absolutely nothing about my situation in life. But in case they are reading this, I do have a job. I have my own business and I can pretty much work when I want to. I earn money. I pay taxes and I only get on my knees when I come before God to worship and praise Him. I don't even get on my knees to scrub the floor. So there.

Name Change

2011-01-29T07:42:00.000-06:00

I was in the Morton library the other day and I ran across a book by a well known author/speaker. Though she isn't one of my personal favorites I still liked the title of one of her older books. The word "confident" stood out for me. I said to myself, "that's it, that's the word I've been looking for". I'm using the word in my title as sort of a prophetic gesture.

When I hear the word "confident" I think of Maria, before she became a Von Trapp. In the movie, The Sound of Music, Maria is marching down the road with her suitcase and her guitar singing, "I Have Confidence." She's on her way to a new chapter in her life, not sure what is going to happen when she gets there but she's sure she has confidence. All will be well. And then she gets to the gates of the mansion and her cheery song lyrics stop. She looks at the estate and says, "oh help".

I am at a new chapter of my life. I turned a page several months ago and said, "oh help". My confidence does not come from myself though. It comes from God. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again....The Sound of Music

Venting

2011-01-20T10:31:00.000-06:00

I am a careful driver. Even when I'm in a hurry I go the speed limit. One of my all time pet peeves is people who tailgate. Even worse, people who tailgate in bad weather when the roads are packed with snow. The speed limit is posted, I obey the law of the land ( like the Bible tells us to do ) and when the roads are bad I go a little slower. I'm not a turtle though. I look in my rearview mirror and I see what is usually some type of big 4wheel drive behind me. Any closer and it would be hooked on my rear bumper. More than likely their attitude is "I've got this big bad machine and I don't have to go slow in this type of weather." Contrary to popular belief I have seen big bad machines spin out of control and land in ditches just like the rest of us do at times. You know what happens to people like that who are stuck behind me? I go even slower. Might not be the nice thing to do but then again neither is riding on my back bumper so that I can't even see your headlights. What if I had to come to a sudden stop because of something in front of me? Then you would go beyond my bumper and land on my hood. Slow down. I'm not impressed.

Can You Guess?

2011-01-13T09:00:00.002-06:00

It took me so long to get to my Blog site that I forgot what it was I was going to post. LOL...but it came back to me.

I looked at my calendar this morning and figured out there are 8 weeks and 3 days left until an exciting thing happens around here. I'm looking forward to it.

Can you guess? And are you looking forward to something?

Choose Wisely

2011-01-07T14:21:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had someone say something to you that made you feel about 2 feet tall? I mean here you are, doing your best, running here and there, doing this and that for someone and they say to you, "don't you know how to do laundry?" And when you say "yes" they say "well obviously you need a refresher course." What makes it even worse is they say it in front of someone else.

We really have to be careful of our words. I turned the other cheek this time, but my face spoke volumes as to how it made me feel.

Has anyone spoken down to you lately? What did you do?

Pancakes and Conversation

2011-01-04T11:21:00.000-06:00

So I got up and got dressed to head to Bob Evans for a pancake, or two. I had a brief conversation with the gas station clerk when I stopped for a morning paper, but driving toward my destination I gave yet another sigh of bewilderment as to why I'm always doing things alone these days. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, just wondering. The hostess who didn't want to be working, directed me to a table, I would have preferred a booth. But I took the table and was about to sit down so I could look out the window when I got this strong push to set facing the other way. Ok. I began looking at the newspaper and I looked up to see someone I know walking towards me. Hadn't seen her in awhile, she has been going through some health issues ( who isn't these days? ). Anyway we had a nice visit. She and her husband sat behind me and we were able to continue our visit and get caught up. Now, had I set where I really wanted to, I never would have seen her and vice versa. I believe that strong push to set where I don't normally set, was a nudge from our Heavenly Father. He knew I was in need of some conversation, some one on one time with a friendly face, and He turned me toward it.

Question For You!

2011-01-03T08:45:00.001-06:00

I don't make New Year resolutions, do you? If you do, what is one resolution that you made that you are determined to keep???

Christmas Message

2010-12-24T14:10:00.001-06:00

Praying that all my readers have an enjoyable Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

Saturday Surprise

2010-12-18T08:02:00.000-06:00

I have never suffered from a 'bah humbug' spirit. As long as I claim the joy of the Lord as my strength I will never be a Grinch. No matter what life circumstances come my way. Last night I whipped up several little loaves of my world famous Applesauce Cake. I brought a few with me this morning to the cafe to give to some of the 'regulars' that I converse with and know. Upon entering and getting settled at my table, I was told my breakfast was already paid for! I thank God that I was taught to do things for other people without complaining and to do it with a joyful heart. When you do, it makes you feel good. I think a lot of the 'bah humbug' moods and down and out spirits could be healed if we would do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. Maybe you've lost your job and money is tight, get out and volunteer. This year, Christmas will be hugely different for me. For the first time in 47 years, I will wake up alone. I know there are those out there who are worse off than that, but I'm just saying, it will be different. Sometimes though, it's good to be shaken up now and then. I will honor Christmas in my heart and life simply because of what the day means. Sure it's nice to get a gift or two but it's really not about me. After all it's not MY birthday, it's Jesus'. What do you give a guy that has everything? How about more of my time.

Fun Fun Fun

2010-12-14T08:29:00.001-06:00

Well let's see here. After my frozen door adventure of which my big strong nephew came to rescue me from and accidentally 'broke' a door handle, I did my errands with my sister. Got home, got settled, fixed myself my favorite comfort food casserole that I grew up with. Had a nice supper in the recliner with the cat on the arm of the chair. Watched a little Poirot, got sleepy and decided to turn in and read for awhile. Started to doze off and heard the hairball action......on my coat thank you very much. Thankfully I have more than one coat. I couldn't relax, couldn't concentrate on my book so I went back to praying for awhile. Then I got up and actually wrapped some presents. One thing you must know about me.....I do not like to wrap. I'm not good at it, I don't care for it and I don't have the patience for it. My one sister on the other hand likes to wrap and make things pretty and creative, I say, good for her. Can she cook and clean??? :-)

Have you heard the Christmas song, "I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas"? I love that song, it makes me smile.

So anyway, the garbage men have once again left my empty garbage can in the street instead of on the curb where I always put it for them. Drives me nuts.

It's another really cold day today, doubt if the car doors will open anytime soon. I have baking to do, I just can't get motivated to do it. And guess what else....the sun looks like it's starting to disappear, and I haven't done any decorating either this year. Doubt if I will.

Oh and now the toilet isn't flushing properly....again. Ahhhhh, thankfully I have a sense of humor. And a clean coat.

Monday Monday

2010-12-13T10:44:00.000-06:00

Since yesterday was a miserable weather day complete with blizzard conditions, I stayed in. I didn't venture to church because I live out of town. I was taught that a single woman on the road alone in white out conditions is just plain stupid. Not to mention the fact that I felt miserable anyway. Since the first part of October I have only had a hand full of days where I've felt decent. Still, I push myself to go and do and go and go and go, and then I crash with some type of sickness. I've got to slow down. I've got to start saying "no, sorry, can't do that" and rest. So yesterday pretty much consisted of me sleeping the day away. I filled the sink with some dirty dishes and several hours later they were still there, in cold water. Today I am feeling better and need to run some errands. Wouldn't you know it, since I'm not blessed to have a garage, the car doors are froze shut and it doesn't look like I will be going anywhere soon. ( can you hear me sighing? ) I guess I could bake. Or nap :-)

Today's Tradition

2010-12-01T08:23:00.000-06:00

It's only 8:15 in the morning and I've already had two phone calls. Please, I haven't even had my first cup of coffee yet! I was able to get a nap yesterday, first one in weeks! I slept about three hours and then of course couldn't go to sleep at a proper time that night. Thankfully I have a good book to read! I am so thankful that the pain has eased up. I am able to sleep, even able to turn over on my sore hip for a bit. Maybe by next Tuesday I will be healed and wont need that hip injection at all! Then again maybe the Lord wants to heal me totally by using the injection, we will see. Those that know me well, know that I am an emotional person. I have a merciful heart and I show it a lot by crying. I have spent the last few weeks crying out to God for various reasons. Now I am shedding tears over the fact that I am feeling better. Tomorrow I have to go for blood work and for a test on the circulation in my feet. I'm a little apprehensive but I'll be ok.

Today I follow the tradition started by my mom many years ago, the Manger Scene goes up. She always put it up on the 1st. Maybe later I'll do a little more decorating, but this year I'm keeping it simple.

All In Good Time

2010-11-26T19:33:00.000-06:00

Two weeks ago the pain started. Pain in my left hip area, pain in my right foot. Three doctors later I was told I had bursitis in my hip and an out of control blister on my foot. They ask you on a scale of 1-10 what the pain level is and I always answer "12". There have been nights, and days when I have done nothing but cry and scream and call out to God. I'm sure that if He loves me like he says he does, he wont leave me this way for long. My house is a disaster. Being in so much pain allows me to just drop whatever it is and leave it on the floor. My hardwood floors are white with dust. I can only wash a couple of dishes at a time because standing hurts. I have lost a lot of weight. Hurts to eat. Hurts to drive, but I do it. Though I have had good church family available to take me to the doctor this past week. I have a test on my circulation coming up next week. I have a huge house insurance bill due very soon, Christmas is coming and this goose is not getting fat. So to speak. I had to back out of my Thanksgiving plans so that I could spend time with my sister at 'the home'. I managed to do some Christmas decorating in her room, but the pain was horrible. Today, after coming home from a needed trip to Walmart with my other sister, I noticed I didn't have any pain. I noticed I was able to do a little straightening up around the house, without the cane. I noticed I was sitting more comfortably.

One thing I have never lost sight of is the faithfulness of Jesus. I have thanked Him in advance for healing. I have told him more than once that I don't know why I'm suffering like I am. And that's ok. I mean look at what He did for me. Talk about suffering. And I, like Him, will have the victory! All in good time.

Pain Pain Go Away

2010-11-16T13:44:00.000-06:00

Early Sunday morning I woke up with horrible pain in my left thigh area. I had slept on the couch that night, woke a couple of times and was ok but around five that morning something was wrong. I have been in pain since. Using a cane, heating pad, pain pills, nothing really helps. I broke down this morning and made an appointment with a chiropractor. I have never been to one in my life. I have no money, no insurance. Not sure how I'm going to pay for it. I hope the doctor finds what is wrong and can get it fixed. After all of last months illness and now this, I'm ready to scream. Maybe I should, it might make me feel better. :-)

Have you ever just screamed over something and felt better for it?

2010-11-05T15:10:00.000-05:00

I had an errand to run in another close by town and I grabbed a couple of cassettes to take with me, yes I said cassettes. Someday I will be blessed with a vehicle that plays cd's but until then...... Anyhoo, I popped the cassette in not knowing what or who it was and the second I heard the voice I got a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. I can't help it, I'm sentimental. It isn't the first time I've listened to this type of music this year, I do however consider it to be "official". Ahhhhh, tis the season! I know you are dieing to know who it was......it was, Perry Como Christmas Album. My heart has a soft spot for Perry, Dean Martin, Andy Williams. It just isn't Christmas without them. Who are your favorites?

My Scary Night

2010-10-31T20:45:00.000-05:00

Everytime I pull in the driveway, Mamma is there to greet me. She trit trots down the steps and waits for me to get out of the car. Tonight however, she was on the sidewalk waiting. I noticed she was up to something. I left the headlights on to give me a guide to the door since I didn't leave the outside light on tonight. As I rounded the car to go up to the door I could hear it. Very faintly I heard it. Before I could get the key in the lock I told Momma, "thank you for greeting me but keep that away from me". She didn't listen. I still heard it. I don't know how I maneuvered as well as I did but as I slightly opened the door to turn on the porch light I turned and saw what was making the noise. Momma let it fall to my feet and I told her again, "get that thing away from me and keep it from getting in my house". I used the words gently and she did as told. I had to go back to the car to get my stuff out of it and I did so with speed. After I got in the house and shut the doors up tightly I looked out the window and Momma had brought her prize back up to the top step. It was no bigger than.....really, it was tiny. And gray. And had a long tail. And Momma was having the time of her life with it.

That's as scary as I want my night to be!

The Furnace Blues

2010-10-30T08:09:00.003-05:00

I had a bad day yesterday. Well maybe 'bad' is to strong a word. It just wasn't all that pleasant. Sadly the man who put our new furnace in said he couldn't work on it. Hearing that put me in a bad attitude. I felt as though I was given a brush off and the 'christian' in him was not acting properly. There was no offer of help or suggestion of who might help. So I had to get out the Yellow Pages. I just quickly asked the Lord to lead me to the right place and I found myself calling a place here in town that is owned by Christians....hence the fish on their advertising! I was told they couldn't come out until later in the evening and then put on hold for a minute. The woman came back and said, "I can have someone there between 3-5." That was fine I didn't expect someone right away. At two, the phone rang. The woman told me that the technician was on their way. Cool. He was there in less than five minutes and I wasn't completely ready for him.

Almost four hours, two technicians and $4o0 later my furnace was running. But in between there I shed some tears while alone in the house. I called my sister with updates, and just broke down telling her how nice it would be to not be alone in cases like this. It is the one thing I do not like about being single. I have to go on blind faith that the strange men in my basement know what they are doing and are not cheating me.

It turned out that it probably was a good thing that the guy who put the furnace in did not come to look at it as these two technicians found some 'faulty' problems with it. Hmmmm. That is all I will say on that.

But gee Lord, $400??? And more to come. It was a gentle reminder of the fact that I am single because I have to fully rely on God. If I weren't, knowing the way I am I would rely to much on a man than THE man.

If They Could See Me Now

2010-10-29T15:40:00.003-05:00

I wish you could have seen me last night. No, wait, on second thought I don't think that would have been wise. Course it is that time of year to be scary! My furnace is not working, yet. And last night as some of us know was the coldest night so far. I broke out the winter pj's, and dove under two big blankets with a crocheted shawl over my head and around my shoulders. I would have worn a hat but I couldn't find one. I laid awake reading for awhile and like a doofus realized I could have been wearing mittens while I did that! The cat, tucked away neatly on the nearby rocking chair, looked at me several times like I was nuts. To warm things up this morning I made a pot of vegetable beef soup. I love to cook and create. I don't like soup. There are only two kinds I tolerate, tomato and potato. But this did make the house smell nice. So I'm still bundled up waiting for the furnace guy to get here. I'm a little aprehensive, a little on the nervous side. He had to go back to the shop for something. We don't have the money for this big repair. But as I so well know, God is in control and all I have to do is ask Him for the peace I need. So what am I waiting for?

What do you do to keep warm?

Chilled to the Bone

2010-10-22T06:59:00.002-05:00

Last night when I went to bed I was so chilled that I put on two blankets and wrapped a shawl around my head. My insides were chattering. Thankfully the cat curled up at my feet and I slipped into warm oblivion. But I woke up around three thirty and was wide awake. I had the alarm set for six because I needed to be out the door by eight. I laid there for awhile with all sorts of thoughts running through my head. I finally asked God, "why am I awake, do you have something to talk to me about?" I really never got an answer so I just laid there, turning and tossing and getting up once to feed the cat. Last time I looked at the clock it said 4:30 and I came to the conclusion that I would fall asleep just about when it was time to get up. Sure enough, I did. I may not have gotten an answer to my question I asked of God, but I was able to rest assured that I was wrapped in the warmth of His love and everything was under control. Maybe I was awake just in order to remember that.

Fast Food Blues

2010-10-12T20:49:00.002-05:00

Since being ill last week I have had the opportunity to not eat much food. I wanted to loose a little more weight, just not like this. However when I put a pair of new jeans on tonight and discovered they no longer hugged my body the way they did when I bought them, which is why I bought them, I panicked. I don't own a belt, don't like them. I tried a couple of other pair on, same thing. Guess it's back to Goodwill for some new jeans! But I digress......

I made a pan of mac and cheese tonight thought it sounded good. Looked at it after it was done, took a bite and threw it away. It just didn't happen. I then remembered my all time favorite comfort food after being sick is an Arby's roast beef sandwich. Plain. When you walk into Arby's they shout, "Hi, welcome to Arby's" without even looking at your face most of the time. I just want to say, "leave me alone I'm looking at the menu." But what REALLY gets me is while someone is taking my order they still stop and to say "Hi welcome to Arby's" to whoever walks in the door. It is so rude. Then they have to stop and ask you "what was that you said?" I was taught when you were talking to someone you didn't stop in mid sentence and start talking to someone else. It's called MANNERS. Even big business has forgotten that.

I think I'll write Arby's a note. :-)

What A Difference.....A Day Makes

2010-10-12T08:58:00.003-05:00

It's been a horrible week. Oh well maybe not that horrible. Last week I came down with the flu. I mean THE FLU. And usually after that you start to feel better. That didn't happen. I got worse in other ways. Two days ago I finally broke down and had someone take me to the ER. I am so blessed. Every time in my life I've gone to the ER I've had good service. I got excellent care this time. After two liters of fluids because I was dehydrated, several tubes of blood and the little cup to tinkle in.....the results were in. I had one of the worse infections the doctor has ever seen. I literally began to feel better after the first dose of antibiotic.

Soon the bills will start to arrive. You get billed for the nurse in the Triage, the doctor in the Triage, the doctor in the ER, radiology, lab, bathroom attendant and blanket....well maybe not those two but it will seem like it. How does one pay for that when there is no insurance and no income? Thankfully.....My God shall supply ALL my needs according to His riches in Glory!

On another note as I said either here or on Facebook. I was letting the Lord restore a friendship that had been damaged over 2 years ago. I heard from this friend and afterwords accessed some of the things she said to me. I said to the Lord, "nothing has changed, she still sounds the same, she still talks like everything is depressing, she still complained about how busy she is, why do I want to get re involved with all that again?" I haven't got an answer yet. It still bugs me.

Ok, I think I'll get some rest.

It's A Hope Thing

2010-10-05T08:00:00.003-05:00

Do you know who some of the most hopeful people are in the world today? Here's a clue. Every year since 1908 they have faithfully stood by their men patiently and eagerly waiting. Waiting with a glint in their eye and confidence in their heart that one day while they are still alive to tell the tale, one-day so that generations to come can recall the amazement of it all, the Chicago Cubs will again win a World Series.

So many things have occurred since the Cubs won a series. Radio and television were invented. Haley's Comet passed the earth, twice! Sixteen U.S. presidents were elected. Five states were admitted to the Union. Man landed on the moon, as did several home runs given up by Cub's pitchers!

Seems kind of silly to have hope in something that doesn't seem possible, but a Cub fan always speaks hope. From "this year the Cubs will go all the way" to "we'll get em next year!" We've been saying it since 1909.

We've all let those 'woe is me attitudes' slip out now and then. The thing I hear the most is, "I guess it's just my lot in life to...."and then the blank is filled in with something negative. Through certain circumstances over the past few years, I've learned to start speaking to that which I can not see yet. I try as much as possible to speak out the hope that is in my heart. And when I do, I'm breathing the air of destiny. Pretty cool huh?

For example, I have something in my heart that I feel so strongly about that when I see it, read about it, hear about it, write about it, well I just get all emotional. It's Italy. There's something about Italy that gets me all mushy. I believe one day I will go there because God has placed it in my heart so strongly. So instead of the usual, "yeah right like I'd ever get to go to Italy", I speak out the hope that is in my heart, "someday WHEN I get to Italy."

I've been thinking about this Destiny and Hope thing for quite some time now and decided it was to be my theme this month. Then just a few nights ago Kim Clement spoke the same thing that I have been feeling and the same words I have been doodling on pieces of paper.

"I found out that when I'm in the fiery furnace that's when I see the fourth man, when I'm in the lions den, that's when I hear His voice the greatest, when I"m in the pit that's when my gift is sharpened and when I'm in the prison that's when God really sharpens my sword BECAUSE He is prepraing me for something greater!"

Something greater than Pekin? How about Italy? I'd like to go go to Scotland too while your at it! How about the New York Times Best Seller List, how about the Cubs winning the World Series? You see there is always hope, with a God like ours how can there not be?

My Apologies

2010-09-17T14:07:00.003-05:00

As I set here listening to Josh Groban and eating candy corn I want to convey my humblest apologies for not being around lately. Two weeks ago I had an emergency with my sister and life has not been the same since. Things have settled down a bit. I have to admit I am very disappointed in some of my family at this very difficult time yet at the same time I'm so very thankful and blessed to have church family. Some have gone many extra miles to help us. They are there for me to call when I'm driving down the road and being an emotional wreck. A dear sweet woman from church who just very recently lost her husband sent me, the caregiver, a very nice "thinking of you" card. It not only brought tears to my eyes to read, but just the mere thought that someone was actually thinking of me and took the time to let me know was heart wrenching. Especially to receive it from someone that is going through so much herself. I can honestly say that if we didn't have our church family and friends, we would be pretty much on our own.

Some things I can laugh about. Some things make me see red. For instance, I asked a family member to PLEASE make a few phone calls for me I was at the end of my rope talking to people. Their response was, "I hate doing that" and I was proud of myself for saying, "yeah well I hate putting my sister on a bedpan every day but I do it".

I look forward to being with 'my' kids tomorrow! Paperwork can wait.

SATURDAY

2010-09-11T18:51:00.002-05:00

I took sister K with me to the hospital today, to see our sister N. I thought it was high time someone other than myself saw what was happening. We hadn't been in her room five minutes and I noticed sister K wiping tears from her eyes over what she saw. Sister N is all hooked up to electrodes and is being monitored. FINALLY. I couldn't stay long. Sister N is doing strange stuff with her food before she takes a bite. Then her phone rang and because she couldn't reach it and had her food tray in front of her I answered it and she got mad at me and said, "excuse me I'm not insane yet". Whew! After we left we treated ourselves to the never ending pasta deal at Olive Garden!! My favorite.

Book Giveaway Question

2010-08-31T09:18:00.004-05:00

Question......For $10,000, would you be willing to move away and never speak to your best friend for a year? No phone calls, no emails, no letters, no texting.

Everyone who answers the question will get their name put in a 'hat' and one will be drawn for the book, "You're All That" Understand God's Design for Your Life by Paula White.

No Anonymous Posts. Deadline is September 10th 2010

Sounding Off

2010-08-30T19:25:00.003-05:00

Tonight's blog post is a sounding board for my sanity.

I was reminded again today the importance of caring. First of all, not many people know the extent of the 'problem' here at home. One family member told me a couple of months ago, "I do not envy you at all". In other words, don't count on me. Another family member has not seen my sister since June 11th. Once in awhile that particular one calls to check in. But gone are the 'wanna go out to lunch' or 'need anything from the store' calls. I guess they think that because our sister is an invalid, so am I. WRONG. I still have a life and I intend on living it. Just in a limited capacity at the moment. But here's the scene. We have neighbors on each side that are in ill health, they give us fruit, veggies, company and most importantly they INSIST that if we need anything we let them know. Even if it's just the need to set and chat. And I always say to them, 'that goes for you too, if there is anything I can do, let me know and I will do it.' I also do things without being asked. Share this, share that, a friendly wave, a note, a how are you etc. That is what life is about. We have church family that call, send notes, ( granted most are for my sister and not the caregiver but I digress ) get my sister out of the house and physically in the car. They bring us meals, they do some projects for us around the house. They let us know they are praying for us and we notice a difference.

Some big changes are in the future for us. I don't want to harden my heart but I will look to and share my life and it's changes with my neighbors and church family before I do so with others.

I used to really dislike the phrase, "what goes around comes around".....but it is really true. Unfortunately some people just don't get how life is supposed to be.

Sophia Patrillo once said, "if you can't count on family, who the hell can you count on"...my answer.... everyone else.

Me Me Me

2010-08-27T09:16:00.002-05:00

I was awake for more than three hours in the night. I stared at the ceiling, got up, did some writing in my journal, prayed, ate a Popsicle, did some reading. Fell asleep around fourish. An hour later woke up to help my sister. Yesterday I was told by a very wise person that there are many that are praying for me and my sister. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don't. I know there are. But for me, I've always needed more. Maybe it's because as the youngest I've been spoiled. But I am one of those that needs to be noticed when it comes to a few things in life. Every day I go to the mailbox and there is a card or letter for my sister. No mention of me. The phone calls arrive for her, no mention of me. I check her e-mail. No mention of me. There are a few who do keep in contact with me and ask how I am. But not all that many. I bump into people out and about and it's 'how's Nora'. No mention of me. So here's what I'm going to say the next time someone asks me how she is...."well lets see, she lives the life of Riley, she's in bed or her wheelchair, she has someone that puts her on the bedpan when she needs it, is fed properly, her needs are taken care of by me night and day, she's pretty well off. I'm the one that's a wreck, thanks for asking." :-)

A caregivers life is often overlooked. Those that know this and help to keep my spirits up are those that I hold dear to my heart.

Today I will find something to laugh about.

Bump in the night.........

2010-08-26T16:23:00.003-05:00

From someone that has experienced the actual sighting of a real angel, I often lay awake at night hearing the noises around the house. Ever hear those creaking and little thumping noises? You know, the ones where someone would say to you, 'oh that's just the house settling'. My response to that would be, 'settling, it's been here over 60 years how much more settling does it need?' I tend to feel those noises are angels positioning themselves on my house. Ready for any battle that might come my way. Yeah nothing spooky about those sounds. The only one that needs to be spooked out is the enemy because my angels are here and they win!

But I digress......... I spilled the beans to my pastor today about the future around here. It is good to get good, wise council and encouragement.

Thank God it's a New Day!

2010-08-20T09:19:00.003-05:00

The past few days have been rather bad. Wednesday started out bad and ended the same way. By Thursday I had my sister in the ER to correct a 'minor' problem. First they told us the ambulance would be there to transport her back home in 20 minutes. THREE hours later they arrived. I told them I was about ready to send the Marines out for them. That should have been three hours to myself to relax, but that didn't happen. After coming home and feeling better, we ate supper and then it all started again. Sparing any gory details let's just say I let the knot at the end of my rope come untied and slid off. It was a very emotional time in which I told my sister, she has to do something about her life. I can't do this anymore. I can't be expected to do ALL that I am doing. Neither one of us have 'quality of life' anymore and that's just not right. I have absolutely no support. People come to the house to see her, call her, visit with her, send her notes and cards and they forget that the caregiver is the one that needs most of that sort of thing. I do not want to whine. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to feel guilty about the future. Or scared because when things change for her, they are going to change for me too. I am thankful I have a relationship with a God that has it all figured out for the good. I just hope He lets me in on the plan pretty soon. :-)

And to top it all off the three six week old kittens I have that need homes, one of them is not walking on it's back legs and it has me worried. Always something.

For Me!

2010-08-15T11:15:00.000-05:00

Over the past couple of falls and winters I've been attending a Tuesday morning womens Bible study at a church in Tremont. It has been great for me. I was able to do Beth Moore's studies on Esther and Daniel, and the fellowship with women I don't know was an answer to prayer. The new session starts on Sept. 14th and I would LOVE to be able to attend. Even though I've already done the study they are doing ( Beth Moore's study on Revelation) I would love to do it again. Not to mention the fact that at this point in my life I NEED relationships and fellowship.

It is tough on Nora for me to be gone from home for to long, especially in the monrings .I would have to leave at 8:45 and be gone till around noon.

Who knows what our life will be like by Sept. 14th but I would really like to be a part of Bible study again. Would you please pray about this for me? Thank you!

Yesterday

2010-08-11T09:43:00.002-05:00

Have you ever heard the two expressions, "I laughed all the way to the bank" or "I was so mad I screamed"? Well I've never actually laughed all the way to the bank, but I have been so mad that I screamed. Yesterday I sat down at my cafe, my food was put in front of me and my phone rang. I had to rush right back home. I felt so 'put out' again, like yet another part of my life has slipped away, angry at my circumstances and that of my sister's. We quickly boxed up my food, I left the cafe, walked out and forgot where I actually was parked. On my drive up the main road to home I was fuming. And it was at that point that I literally screamed out loud, three times. After the third time I really felt better and actually laughed a little bit. Not proud of who I have become in all of this but I'm reminded that it's only temporary.

Just What I Need...and a question

2010-08-07T08:22:00.002-05:00

My former best friend who I had a falling out with two years ago, has approached me to either come over to the house to help or for us to get together and have lunch or dinner sometime. She says she is very serious about the offer and wants me to think about it. Part of me thinks it would be nice to have someone to set and talk with, another part of me thinks, "why in the world would I want to set and talk with her?" It would be extremely awkward, yet it might be the start of something nice. I don't know. All I can do is pray about it.

How would you feel if someone you had a parting of ways with because of something they did that they shouldn't have, approached you for possible reconciliation?

Slipping Away

2010-07-25T19:08:00.002-05:00

I sometimes feel as though my own life is slipping away. We will soon have a new ramp built for my sister. It will take up all of my small front yard in order for it to work. I will no longer be able to set outside and enjoy the neighborhood. I have to make sure I get angry over the right stuff and not take it out on my sister. Not that I would ever do that, it just seems like sometimes my own life is being taken away from me. Today I went out to a late lunch. I sat down in the diner, ordered my food, got my salad and my phone rang. I had to rush right home, they had to bag up my food and by the time I got out to the car my phone rang again with, 'where are you'? It has been for me one of those, "I can't take much more of this" days. Is this what the rest of my life and hers is going to be like? We are both to young. I hope that no one I know ever takes their health, their life, their family for granted. Thankfully I cling to a God who has all the answers.

Have You Ever.......

2010-07-24T19:21:00.003-05:00

Have you ever been surrounded by people and still felt like no one really gives a hoot? Is the best conversation of your day the one you have with the clerk at the checkout lane? Sometimes that's the way I feel and there isn't anyone going to tell me that I shouldn't feel that way. Some of my best relationships are with other Christians, then again some of the worst times of my life have been because another Christian said or did something to me they shouldn't have. I saw Carman on TBN last night and he was saying the exact same thing. He said he would rather have a busload of athiests with oozies coming at him instead of another Christian. I can relate. :-)

Progress!

2010-07-20T09:41:00.003-05:00

It is still raining. In the distance I can hear the rumbling of thunder and the singing of the red birds. Once again reminding me that even in the midst of storms there are things to be joyful about. Ever since the episode a couple of years ago with my former best friend, I have been praying for new relationships. And along with that prayer I have been asking God to send someone to help me take care of some many needs around my house that I can't do myself. Not only do I have some new relationships forming, I also have some of the needs around my house being taken care of! Someone at church pulled me aside one day and insisted I tell them what I'm in need of. So being the emotional person I sometimes am, I just blurted out several things. Within the next few weeks, those needs were being taken care of! I needed mulberry trees cut down and one day a tree service pulled up and did the job! FREE! I needed a new driveway and one day an asphalt service pulled up and did the job, FREE! I am so thankful to be a part of a church family that knows how to take care of one another.

God is so good.

As for my sister, I was laying on the couch last night and she was in her bed. She said, "hey, I just sat up on the edge of my bed by myself"....I said, "cool, now get up and walk".

She has never been able to set up by herself, I always have to help her. Sounds like a little step of progress but it's progress!

More Lord!!

Friday!

2010-07-09T18:26:00.004-05:00

It was a very busy day today. Got my sister to the doctor. A fairly new family from church is helping us out and going way beyond the call of duty. We are so grateful. He took the morning off work to help get my sister in the car and then followed us to the doctor and sat and waited for us while we were there. He plans on doing it again in a couple of weeks. God is taking care of so many of our needs around the house it's amazing. My sister needs to see the neurologist again and we are waiting on that appointment. Her doctor today said we need to find out what has caused all of this and then do something to help manage it. Might I say .....duh to that! :-) Then physical therapy came. Then I went to the laundromat, it's just so much easier to do it all at once there than going up and down the basement steps all day long. Then I went to Walmart for meds and dinner. I am in my comfy nightshirt and lounging in the a/c. Life is good, God is better.

My sister.....and the cat!

The Big Day

2010-07-08T08:17:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the big day. My sister has a doctors appt. It will be her first time in over a month to be out of the house. We have two wonderful guys coming to help get us transported to the doctor. It again reminds me of what church family is and should be all about. Someone willing to do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. People who are ready, willing and able to look after us 'widows and orphans' as the Bible tells us to do. Tomorrow will be a bit of a challenge though. Have you ever tried to dress someone that can't stand up? I do it every day but tomorrow she wants to wear jeans! :-)

A picture and a question

2010-07-03T07:34:00.000-05:00

Here is my kitty, Miss Marple aka Shmoopie. She is on her throne, one of many! I managed to get to my hangout early this morning. Men in speedo shorts and biking gear just came in. At least they aren't wearing flip flops, I detest flip flops on men! So what are you doing for the 4th of July??

Worth a Thousand Words

2010-07-01T12:37:00.003-05:00

I have entered into the 21st Century....I am the proud owner of a digital camera. I saved a jar full of change and bought myself a camera as a birthday present to myself. ( my birthday being June 11th, did you miss it? ) The camera remained in the box for nearly a week before I took it out. And today for the first time I tried to download photos onto Facebook etc. You will never guess who I've been taking photos of the most! I'll try and share one with you here!

My New Title

2010-06-30T10:34:00.003-05:00

I had been wanting to change some of the title of my Blog and I asked for a few suggestions. I didn't want to be unique, I wanted to be different! Someone suggested the word "handmaiden" and I began to do some research on the meaning of the word. I didn't really care for the dictionaries answer so I dug a little deeper, into God's kingdom. And then I came across something mentioned in an old Elijah List post and that pretty much helped me make up my mind.

What it boils down to is a handmaiden is a servant of the Lord. Let me share with you the things I read that helped me choose this title and you can go to these places and read if you want, or just take my word for it! :-)

http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word/7447

http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word/7588
"She is capable, strong, powerful and equipped with the very virtue of Christ. These beautiful ones in the sight of the Lord are mighty women of valor who are hearing the voice of the Lord calling them with clarity. They are not afraid to stand, not afraid to war, not afraid to give preference to their fellow brothers and sisters in genuine Godly humility as they yield themselves as servants and handmaidens of the Lord. The Lord is causing a new Godly confidence to arise from deep within to prepare them for the days ahead as they are given insight, foresight and apostolic strategy that are behind the scenes—the hidden treasures of the Lord who are bursting forth as a prototype of what the Bride of Christ will look like at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb"

And finally.....

Mary stayed with Elizabeth for about three months (and helped her)" (Luke 1:56). The Lord may send you to serve other peoples' miracles before He delivers your own, but He will come through. All of His promises are "yes" and "amen." "Shall I bring you to the point of birth and not give delivery?" (Isaiah 66:7-9

Tuesday Talk

2010-06-29T10:15:00.002-05:00

When a person tells you what should be done in a situation, in no uncertain terms, is that a form of judging? I got one of those e-mails yesterday, in behalf of my sister's current condition, in which the person told me what she should do and why she is the way she is. Because of not living a healthy lifestyle she is now paying the price. Well yeah, duh. I kind of already knew that and so did she. Thanks for your input. Should I remind you of some of your past ways and why you are experiencing what you are now?? Or should I just laugh it off and chalk it up to insensitivity during my current state of mind? LOL.

Sometimes I have noticed that people think my sister is faking things and not really as bad as she seems. My comment to that, you come and stay with her for about two hours and we'll see who is the fake.

Wow, do I have an attitude? Yep. And I know how to use it!

But seriously. I press on and leave the naysayers in the dust.

A Day of Rest

2010-06-27T11:07:00.003-05:00

I didn't make it to church today. Just needed the rest of not having to get up and go. I did however manage to get out for a bit and get some breakfast someplace other than the kitchen. Came home, got the sister out of bed and read the paper.

I notice during the week that she is perkier and is making some progress. But on the weekends when therapy doesn't come around she seems more emotional. I told her in no uncertain terms is she going to lay in bed for 17 hours again. Yes you heard me right.

I also find that I am doing little things for her that she could be doing herself....that's going to stop too. I may be a servant but I'm not a slave. :-)

I look forward to the rest of my Sunday where I can lay around, maybe watch a John Wayne movie, take a nap and then watch MYSTERY on PBS tonight. We do love our British mysteries!

Give me a ring....but not if I'm napping!

2010-06-23T13:20:00.003-05:00

I managed to go to my favorite hangout for breakfast this morning. While tending to my sister before I left, the phone rang and rang and rang and I just said, "sorry, answering is not on my agenda at the moment."

Then while we were trying to rest it started doing the same thing. Ring Ring Ring. I love it when people call and say, "Oh I thought you would be napping". If they thought that then why did they call and make me get up? :-)

Yesterday with the help of the therapist, we stood my sister up for a few seconds. It boosted her morale.

I am reading the book, "Helping Yourself Help Others" by Rosalynn Carter. It's rather old, before the invention of the Internet, but it is really good and it's changing my outlook and making me wonder if out of all of this a new ministry might be in the works for me. Hmmmmm.

Ok, I've got a little time, going to rest.

Fresh News

2010-06-21T16:26:00.003-05:00

Well let's see. The official therapy started today. My sister who is normally in pain is now in more pain from her first workout. No pain, no gain. I worked with the therapist and we tried to get her upright on her feet, but it didn't work, yet. I ran some errands. Came home to find out that my niece was in the ER. She has had panic attacks for most of her adult life and several months ago the doc took her off the meds for them. She had a rapid heartbeat for most of the night and went to the ER today. She's home now. I ran more errands. I tried to get a nap but read some of my book instead. It's hot, humid and thunderstormy ( is that a word? )

I am actually going to cook a meal tonight!! I haven't fixed a meal in over a month. I love to cook.

So far the start of the week has been OK.

I'm thinking of changing the name of my Blog to something other than 'Nanny'.....Caregiver? Woman? Any suggestions? Be nice!

Day 3

2010-06-18T13:18:00.002-05:00

I was sure we were going to have a better day but that wasn't the case. Well, actually it hasn't been all that bad. Emotions are the biggest problem today. And the therapy visits yesterday wore my sister out and today her pain is worse and she can't do much.

On a lighter note, the tree men came right at 8 this morning. My back yard is bare. And while they were working they accidentally knocked the cable wire out of the house and the cable company says they can't come out till Sunday to fix it. Can you hear me letting out a deep sigh?

In the next day or so I have someone coming to pour rocks in my driveway to put "Lake Thomas" out of commission! Yeah!! And then someone else to cut down more weeds and trees that are against the house. And then someone to clean the gutters. And then........

When someone from church asked what I needed I just broke down and told them some stuff....and my God is supplying all our needs according to His riches in Glory! Philippians 4:19

Day Two of a Caregivers Life

2010-06-17T08:32:00.002-05:00

This morning didn't start off well. Enough said. But we've both gotten dressed, had breakfast and brushed our teeth. What more can you want? :-) I walked down the street and got a newspaper. I like looking at Thursdays paper, at all the entertainment stuff going on that I never go to. HaHa.

I have amazing news that I will be sharing in the near future. About how church family and friends are taking care of our needs, just as the Bible directs us to do.

Therapy person coming soon! Have to corral the cat. :-)

At Home Day One

2010-06-16T13:07:00.003-05:00

My sister came home from the nursing home yesterday. It was a very emotional and challenging day all around. And it didn't help matters much when a family member denied us a favor. Oh to be so selfish. Oh well, one day it will be their turn and I'm sure that I will be more accommodating but I digress. Today has been a little easier, but not much. Tomorrow will be even better. The home health care nurse is here. Therapy will be around later this week. Life has changed, but not to much. I can still get out and about here and there. And I'm going to be enlisting the help of people even though they might not know it yet. The number one thing caregivers are supposed to do is tell people they need help. The last time I was a caregiver I didn't do that.....this time I will.

Trusting God through it all. He continues to provide.

Cheers!

2010-06-10T12:36:00.002-05:00

I miss the days when I had friends to go and do things with. Ok, I still have one or two that I do that with. But gee whiz I can remember when I would go and do things like go to a movie, out to eat, to a ballgame, to someones house for fun and games etc etc. Now everyone is to busy with family or some other excuse. Ok, I guess family does come first. But you know there are people out there in the world, in our neighborhood, in our church, in our job.....people that don't have anyone. Not for lack of trying. I read all these books and magazine articles on the importance of doing things with your girlfriends and all that jazz but what do you do if you don't have any? Or can't find any? Or find some that just sort of fizzle out?

I have to admit I have been fighting temptation to go back to the bars. LOL....I mean if you find the right one you can be like a family there.....just like "Cheers". I'm not throwing a pity party, don't anyone come near me with that....I'm just stating facts. Maybe a purpose in everything I'm going through right now is to open some eyes. Not everyone in life is married with children. But we still have things going on in our lives that we could share. I know it's easier for some of us to stop what we are doing at the drop of a hat and go to a movie or out to eat or shopping or_________. But there are also such things as 'plans', not everything has to be spur of the moment.

Anybody want to plan something?

A Really Neat Thought

2010-05-31T13:09:00.004-05:00

I had a really cool thought early this morning. As I was laying on the bed, the house was quiet, no t.v. no radio. The only sounds were the thunder, the cracks of lightening, the wind and the rain pelting against the house.....and amongst all of that I could hear birds singing. Especially the cardinals.

It struck me as sort of amazing and I smiled. Here they were, these little creatures sitting somewhere in the trees during a storm singing happily. A reminder that even during the storms of life when all sorts of junk is coming against us, all we need to do is sing joyfully to remind ourselves of how temporary storms are.

If I thought about it longer I could get really philosophical and write more about it, but why ruin a good thing? :-) Simply put......."Be joyful always" 1 Thessalonians 5:16

If you are one of those who can't find anything to be joyful about, come see me, I'll tell you a few things and set you straight. :-)

Changing

2010-05-14T07:42:00.005-05:00

It's funny how with so much going on in my life at the moment I haven't been sitting at the computer doing any writing. What's up with that?

I do have something coming up. How about this? In a few weeks I will have to change something about my Blog. If you can guess what I will have to change, then you win the prize! You have to make a comment to this post in order to be eligible. ( your answer doesn't have to be correct, I just need your post )

We'll make this a new contest. Not sure what the prize will be yet, how about a surprise? ( which in other words means it will most likely be a book, or not ) :-)

Reflecting

2010-05-08T08:11:00.003-05:00

On this chilly May morning as I sit and enjoy my coffee and the cafe surroundings, I am of course reflecting on Mother's Day. My own mother left us in 1997 at the young age of 67. For a lot of people who have lost their parents, Mother's Day and Father's Day can be hard. But I remember the first Mother's Day that came around after my mother left when a friend of mine asked me if it bothered me. I recall shaking my head from side to side and saying flat out, "not at all", and I meant it. Sure it was a little on the bittersweet side, but I knew where mom had gone. I knew she no longer required a wheel chair, or strong pain killers or breathing treatments. She is now in a place where she has much more to do than sit around on a cloud playing a harp! Sure I miss her, but I don't let it get me down. I try and find other mother's and tell them "Happy Mother's Day", it makes me feel good. I'll do the same when Father's Day rolls around too!

I Am Back!

2010-04-28T07:16:00.003-05:00

It has been awhile hasn't it? Life has been rather different lately. The past month or so has been challenging and full of changes. I am thankful that the God I serve has it all under control. I don't know what today might bring but I am confident that since the Lord knows the number of hairs on my head, He will walk through the day with me. I will invite him into my home, I will ask him to set next to me in the car, and if I go out to eat by myself I will invite him to share my table. If he has something to say to me today I don't want to miss it!

And how have you been?

Congrats and a bit more

2010-04-01T12:41:00.001-05:00

Congratulations to Colleen whose name was drawn to win the first giveaway from my Blog! I'll get your prize to you before you head back to Brazil Colleen!

My sister came home from the hospital today. Life is challenging but God is bigger than any of what life throws at us.

Changes

2010-03-29T08:24:00.002-05:00

As I was sitting watching Masterpiece on PBS last night I was also writing in my journal about how when my sister comes home from the hospital this week, life will change, again. I wont have as much freedom as I've had these past several weeks, I will once again be taking care of a loved one. But we are claiming that this is all just temporary, as most of lifes challenges are.

The giveaway will still happen this coming week!

I'm Challenging You To Do Something

2010-03-24T14:35:00.003-05:00

It may not be much of a challenge for me, but for some people it is......April is National Card and Letter Writing Month.

According to a survey, who it was done by I have no idea but it sounds about right....most of us get a mood boost when we receive a handwritten note because it shows you're making an effort to reach out.

I'm going to take a couple of weeks to cut back on my personal e-mail, ( heck don't get much of that either, most of it is Forwards of some sort ) and cut back on my FACEBOOK and concentrate a little more on sending some personal notes and/or letters. Even if it is to someone I see all the time I'm still going to take a few minutes and write a few lines of encouragement or just say "hi".

So lets take the challenge......send a note or letter the old fashioned way during the month of April. It doesn't take much more time than it does to send an e-mail. And who cares if your handwriting is terrible? Or if it hurts to hold a pen which I can sort of relate to, print a note off your computer. Find an envelope, address it, put a stamp on it ( use those stamps so the Post Office doesn't go out of business! ) and there ya have it! You are most always on the go, so it shouldn't be to hard to find a mailbox. If not, put it in your house mailbox and your carrier will take it with him/her!

Go on, make someones day.....make them smile when they see something other than a bill in the box!

Don't forget......giveaway coming soon!

Some Thoughts

2010-03-22T10:58:00.004-05:00

I've been sitting at the computer a little longer than I should be this morning. I said to the cat awhile ago, "why am I sitting here, I've got things I should be doing." She just looked at me and started to take yet another bath. I'm saddened by the big 'health care' vote, but I'm not giving up hope. However, God isn't going to take it lightly that we are including abortion in 'health care'. May He continue to have mercy on us all. Oh a lighter note, I'm getting a haircut today! I got one not to long ago and I'm just not happy with it, so I thought......I'm entitled to another one!

The clothes are in the dryer, the dishes have been washed, the sun is shining, the cat is sleeping in the sun and God is still on the throne! I'm content.

Attention Book Lovers

2010-03-18T14:26:00.002-05:00

I will begin a contest on April 2nd. The prize is a book! "40 Days in God's Presence" A Devotional Encounter by Rebecca Barlow Jordan. The rules are extremely easy and entering is will be a piece of cake!

The first thing you need to do is become a FOLLOWER of my blog and comment on this actual post.

That's it!

Question for you

2010-03-12T13:52:00.001-06:00

Well we experienced one nice spring day here this week. Back to rain, and cool and gloom, but at least the robins are back! What is your favorite part of Spring?

I Think It's Spring and something new!

2010-03-08T08:02:00.002-06:00

I've been 'complaining' that I haven't see any robins yet. For the past several years I have written down when I see the first robin of spring. One year I even saw one in late January. Driving to church yesterday I finally saw my first frolicking robin. I got giddy! And then the temps were in the low 50's and I got even more giddy! Then it rained. But at least the rain washes away the old yucky dirty snow that is left.

So today starts my new eating and exercise plan. I'm not going whole hog, no pun intended. I'm simply eliminating certain foods and walking more. I want to loose the slight weight I gained over the winter, and a bit more.

Yesterday in the car, my ten year old friend Ethan piped up out of the blue and said, "did you know it's inappropriate to ask someone how old they are or how much they weight". :-)

So in light of that wise musing, I am not going to tell my weight. I am going to tell you that I want to loose ten pounds, and then some.

In the near future I'm going to sponsor a 'give away' to my readers and followers. You have to make comments on my posts though and you can not be 'anonymous'. What am I giving away? Well you will see, something a little different and fun each time! :-) Stay tuned.

Have You Ever..........

2010-03-04T06:09:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had to make alterations in your own life in order to take care of a loved one? It can be a challenging time in every ones life but in the long run, everyone benefits from it. Right? My oldest sisters plight as of late has been having to deal with severe nerve damage and sometimes excruciating pain in one of her legs. She has been off work for nearly two weeks, using a walker to get around. She has fallen several times and sometimes taking a step over a bump or a crack in the pavement scares her. Today at six a.m. she left to try and return to work. She has gotten somewhat better. As her sometimes impatient sister and helper I suppose I will worry all day about how she is doing. I do know for a fact though that prayer has helped. God has been faithful and He always will be.

So what sort of challenges have you faced lately? I'd like to hear.

Some Thoughts

2010-03-02T06:42:00.002-06:00

It's been such a captivating couple of weeks I haven't taken the time to let you know about it all. My oldest sister is having trouble with her leg. She has been off work for awhile and I have been helping her out more than usual. I'm not good at this. I don't have the patience. I get frustrated and sometimes down right mean. I mean couldn't you have asked me to hand you something BEFORE I sat down? I would not make a good caregiver. Except, that's pretty much what I've done most of my life, with children. It's different when the person is not your own loved one don't you think? I am mad that she is going through this thing. Not mad at her. It's sort of like taking care of my mom all over again and I didn't like that either. I did it because I had to. Because as the single person in the family, it was my responsibility. And my privilege. But still, I didn't like it. :-)

A Captivating Thought

2010-02-17T14:45:00.003-06:00

The delivery was supposed to be here 'sometime early afternoon'. It is now 3 p.m. When does 'early afternoon' end? We've all experienced this before haven't we? Putting our life on hold for the repair man or delivery guy to show up. It's the day we get all sorts of fun offers to go somewhere or do something with someone and we have to tell them , "sorry, I'm waiting for Mr. Fixit to show up". It ruins our whole day. The waiting, the constant waiting is just to much to bear some times. In my case I've had a room torn apart with most of it's belongings in the living room, waiting......waiting.....waiting. The cat, who must be corralled for every ones protection knows something is going on. She too waits, and waits. If I have to put the room back together and wait yet another day, I will have a few choice words to say.

However, my new Bible study started last night. We are supposed to ask God each day to reveal himself to us. Today has been a perfect day for that. I'm still waiting. :-)

I Don't Care

2010-02-13T10:38:00.002-06:00

Have you noticed how nonchalantly we throw around the phrase, "I Don't Care"? I got to thinking about that the other day when it was used within a 'spiritual' mans dialogue. I have to admit I didn't appreciate his take on my situation by saying he didn't care. I mean isn't a 'spiritual' man supposed to care about my plight? Yeah, he's only human, but that's another phrase we throw around too. Saying "I Don't Care" just tells the other person one thing....you don't care, you don't have time for them, you bother them, you don't matter, whatever it is you are experiencing they don't have time for. OK, that's more than one thing but you get the point.

Not crazy about what I just said? I don't care. :-) But seriously, I do.

We should care more, life would be a bit more joyful.

One Single Valentine

2010-02-10T10:24:00.002-06:00

*Revising an article I wrote in 2002*

As a single person, when Valentine's Day rolls around, it can be a good opportunity to do a lot of moaning and groaning. But I'll keep my whining brief. As I look back on the many Valentine's Days of my life, I sometimes think how nice it would have been to actually get some sort of endearment from someone other than my mom or a friend. Almost forty seven years on this earth and I have never received flowers or candy from anyone on Valentine's Day. But hey, it's ok. I will survive!

I did a little research of my own concerning Cupid's Day. I asked 25 single women, some friends, some people I didn't know, "what could we as singles do on Valentine's Day to make it a more special day for others?"

Whew! Touchy subject. Out of all the responses I got, only one was positive. The others were hurtful, negative responses. Valentine's Day made them miserable, vengeful, and some of them down right mean. Yikes.

Well, yes it can be depressing. Just like any other day can be if we let it. But it also tells me that we as Single Christian Women need to know this one little fact of life. IT IS OK TO BE SINGLE.

Part 2 to follow!

Prunes

2010-02-02T14:47:00.002-06:00

It's a good thing I like prunes. LOL....really I do. They are nice and sweet and good for you! But right now in my life I am in the process of being pruned by God. He is moving people, places, situations and relationships out of my life. Ok, so maybe prunes and being pruned aren't the same thing. But they are both good for you.
I am excited over what God is doing, even though it can be a lonely time. I know for a fact that this year is going to be a year of big changes for me. I will be in a new place! A year of changes ahead!!

On a deadline

2010-01-28T15:52:00.002-06:00

I've had a rather busy week. I'm trying to finish an essay to enter into a writing contest. The deadline is the 31st. Hoping to finish it sometime tomorrow or early Saturday morning. Other than that, life is peachy and I'm still trusting God for great and amazing things from Him! God is steering me in to places of blessings!

Declaration

2010-01-12T08:59:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had someone say something that helped you put that last piece of the puzzle together? Well in my case it might not be the LAST piece of the puzzle, but it's getting close to it! I believe I now have clearer direction to what I am to pursue this year all because of something someone said in my presence last night. Which just goes to show, you should always keep your mind, heart and eyes open......and your ears too! I am going to continue to declare the following fact:

I'm a highly favored woman of God and blessings follow me where ever I go and God has exciting things in store for me, I will let Him continue to have his way in my life and expect great things from Him this year and always! God is at work!

Don't believe it, I know it's true, the Bible tells me so!