I was awake for more than three hours in the night. I stared at the ceiling, got up, did some writing in my journal, prayed, ate a Popsicle, did some reading. Fell asleep around fourish. An hour later woke up to help my sister. Yesterday I was told by a very wise person that there are many that are praying for me and my sister. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don't. I know there are. But for me, I've always needed more. Maybe it's because as the youngest I've been spoiled. But I am one of those that needs to be noticed when it comes to a few things in life. Every day I go to the mailbox and there is a card or letter for my sister. No mention of me. The phone calls arrive for her, no mention of me. I check her e-mail. No mention of me. There are a few who do keep in contact with me and ask how I am. But not all that many. I bump into people out and about and it's 'how's Nora'. No mention of me. So here's what I'm going to say the next time someone asks me how she is...."well lets see, she lives the life of Riley, she's in bed or her wheelchair, she has someone that puts her on the bedpan when she needs it, is fed properly, her needs are taken care of by me night and day, she's pretty well off. I'm the one that's a wreck, thanks for asking." :-)
A caregivers life is often overlooked. Those that know this and help to keep my spirits up are those that I hold dear to my heart.
Today I will find something to laugh about.
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