I have to write, writing is in my blood. Others have the passion for their children, their jobs, using their digital cameras, cooking, shopping etc. Mine is writing. The feeling of my fingers on the keys, putting words together gives me a high. Simple as that. It's my form of therapy. It's very cheap.
It has been almost one year since my best friend and I have spoken. I have come to the conclusion, long ago, that the term 'best friends' no longer fits us. I move on, forward, onward, upword and without her.
The fun times are gone, always remembered not forgotten.
The times of looking at her at church and having that sinking, sick feeling have gone. The feelings of wanting to get revenge, wanting to just slap her silly have gone. ( they creep back in once in awhile ).
I have done all I can, done the right thing. She has not. Maybe she's afraid of me. Maybe she still feels guilt.
It happened on May 24th, on the way home from the last ( and most disappointing ) Indiana Jones movie. The words, "I have something to tell you" usually tell a person that a form of doom is on the way. Her betrayal and sneekiness led to the doom of a good friendship.
It didn't have to happen the way it did. But......God in his wonderful wisdom, knew exactly what was going to happen and in His own way, He gave me a glimpse of what was to come. I look back on the three things that made me go, "hmmmm" before it all happened and it makes me feel good that I serve a God that speaks to those that listen.
Sometimes writing turns into rambling.
I spent hours crying, I spent days wondering. I know the day will come when a big announcement is made and I pray the Lord will prepare my heart for that day. So that I can at least appear happy, even if I still want to slap her! ;-)
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