Christmas Message

Praying that all my readers have an enjoyable Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

Saturday Surprise

I have never suffered from a 'bah humbug' spirit. As long as I claim the joy of the Lord as my strength I will never be a Grinch. No matter what life circumstances come my way. Last night I whipped up several little loaves of my world famous Applesauce Cake. I brought a few with me this morning to the cafe to give to some of the 'regulars' that I converse with and know. Upon entering and getting settled at my table, I was told my breakfast was already paid for! I thank God that I was taught to do things for other people without complaining and to do it with a joyful heart. When you do, it makes you feel good. I think a lot of the 'bah humbug' moods and down and out spirits could be healed if we would do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. Maybe you've lost your job and money is tight, get out and volunteer. This year, Christmas will be hugely different for me. For the first time in 47 years, I will wake up alone. I know there are those out there who are worse off than that, but I'm just saying, it will be different. Sometimes though, it's good to be shaken up now and then. I will honor Christmas in my heart and life simply because of what the day means. Sure it's nice to get a gift or two but it's really not about me. After all it's not MY birthday, it's Jesus'. What do you give a guy that has everything? How about more of my time.

Fun Fun Fun

Well let's see here. After my frozen door adventure of which my big strong nephew came to rescue me from and accidentally 'broke' a door handle, I did my errands with my sister. Got home, got settled, fixed myself my favorite comfort food casserole that I grew up with. Had a nice supper in the recliner with the cat on the arm of the chair. Watched a little Poirot, got sleepy and decided to turn in and read for awhile. Started to doze off and heard the hairball action......on my coat thank you very much. Thankfully I have more than one coat. I couldn't relax, couldn't concentrate on my book so I went back to praying for awhile. Then I got up and actually wrapped some presents. One thing you must know about me.....I do not like to wrap. I'm not good at it, I don't care for it and I don't have the patience for it. My one sister on the other hand likes to wrap and make things pretty and creative, I say, good for her. Can she cook and clean??? :-) 

Have you heard the Christmas song, "I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas"? I love that song, it makes me smile.

So anyway, the garbage men have once again left my empty garbage can in the street instead of on the curb where I always put it for them. Drives me nuts.

It's another really cold day today, doubt if the car doors will open anytime soon. I have baking to do, I just can't get motivated to do it. And guess what else....the sun looks like it's starting to disappear, and I haven't done any decorating either this year. Doubt if I will.

Oh and now the toilet isn't flushing properly....again. Ahhhhh, thankfully I have a sense of humor. And a clean coat.

Monday Monday

Since yesterday was a miserable weather day complete with blizzard conditions, I stayed in. I didn't venture to church because I live out of town. I was taught that a single woman on the road alone in white out conditions is just plain stupid. Not to mention the fact that I felt miserable anyway. Since the first part of October I have only had a hand full of days where I've felt decent. Still, I push myself to go and do and go and go and go, and then I crash with some type of sickness. I've got to slow down. I've got to start saying "no, sorry, can't do that" and rest. So yesterday pretty much consisted of me sleeping the day away. I filled the sink with some dirty dishes and several hours later they were still there, in cold water. Today I am feeling better and need to run some errands. Wouldn't you know it, since I'm not blessed to have a garage, the car doors are froze shut and it doesn't look like I will be going anywhere soon. ( can you hear me sighing? ) I guess I could bake. Or nap :-)

Today's Tradition

It's only 8:15 in the morning and I've already had two phone calls. Please, I haven't even had my first cup of coffee yet! I was able to get a nap yesterday, first one in weeks! I slept about three hours and then of course couldn't go to sleep at a proper time that night. Thankfully I have a good book to read! I am so thankful that the pain has eased up. I am able to sleep, even able to turn over on my sore hip for a bit. Maybe by next Tuesday I will be healed and wont need that hip injection at all! Then again maybe the Lord wants to heal me totally by using the injection, we will see. Those that know me well, know that I am an emotional person. I have a merciful heart and I show it a lot by crying. I have spent the last few weeks crying out to God for various reasons. Now I am shedding tears over the fact that I am feeling better. Tomorrow I have to go for blood work and for a test on the circulation in my feet. I'm a little apprehensive but I'll be ok.

Today I follow the tradition started by my mom many years ago, the Manger Scene goes up. She always put it up on the 1st. Maybe later I'll do a little more decorating, but this year I'm keeping it simple.

All In Good Time

Two weeks ago the pain started. Pain in my left hip area, pain in my right foot. Three doctors later I was told I had bursitis in my hip and an out of control blister on my foot. They ask you on a scale of 1-10 what the pain level is and I always answer "12". There have been nights, and days when I have done nothing but cry and scream and call out to God. I'm sure that if He loves me like he says he does, he wont leave me this way for long. My house is a disaster. Being in so much pain allows me to just drop whatever it is and leave it on the floor. My hardwood floors are white with dust. I can only wash a couple of dishes at a time because standing hurts. I have lost a lot of weight. Hurts to eat. Hurts to drive, but I do it. Though I have had good church family available to take me to the doctor this past week. I have a test on my circulation coming up next week. I have a huge house insurance bill due very soon, Christmas is coming and this goose is not getting fat. So to speak. I had to back out of my Thanksgiving plans so that I could spend time with my sister at 'the home'. I managed to do some Christmas decorating in her room, but the pain was horrible. Today, after coming home from a needed trip to Walmart with my other sister, I noticed I didn't have any pain. I noticed I was able to do a little straightening up around the house, without the cane. I noticed I was sitting more comfortably.

One thing I have never lost sight of is the faithfulness of Jesus. I have thanked Him in advance for healing. I have told him more than once that I don't know why I'm suffering like I am. And that's ok. I mean look at what He did for me. Talk about suffering. And I, like Him, will have the victory! All in good time.

Pain Pain Go Away

Early Sunday morning I woke up with horrible pain in my left thigh area. I had slept on the couch that night, woke a couple of times and was ok but around five that morning something was wrong. I have been in pain since. Using a cane, heating pad, pain pills, nothing really helps. I broke down this morning and made an appointment with a chiropractor. I have never been to one in my life. I have no money, no insurance. Not sure how I'm going to pay for it. I hope the doctor finds what is wrong and can get it fixed. After all of last months illness and now this, I'm ready to scream. Maybe I should, it might make me feel better. :-)

Have you ever just screamed over something and felt better for it?

I had an errand to run in another close by town and I grabbed a couple of cassettes to take with me, yes I said cassettes. Someday I will be blessed with a vehicle that plays cd's but until then...... Anyhoo, I popped the cassette in not knowing what or who it was and the second I heard the voice I got a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. I can't help it, I'm sentimental. It isn't the first time I've listened to this type of music this year, I do however consider it to be "official". Ahhhhh, tis the season! I know you are dieing to know who it was......it was, Perry Como Christmas Album. My heart has a soft spot for Perry, Dean Martin, Andy Williams. It just isn't Christmas without them. Who are your favorites?

My Scary Night

Everytime I pull in the driveway, Mamma is there to greet me. She trit trots down the steps and waits for me to get out of the car. Tonight however, she was on the sidewalk waiting. I noticed she was up to something. I left the headlights on to give me a guide to the door since I didn't leave the outside light on tonight. As I rounded the car to go up to the door I could hear it. Very faintly I heard it. Before I could get the key in the lock I told Momma, "thank you for greeting me but keep that away from me". She didn't listen. I still heard it. I don't know how I maneuvered as well as I did but as I slightly opened the door to turn on the porch light I turned and saw what was making the noise. Momma let it fall to my feet and I told her again, "get that thing away from me and keep it from getting in my house". I used the words gently and she did as told. I had to go back to the car to get my stuff out of it and I did so with speed. After I got in the house and shut the doors up tightly I looked out the window and Momma had brought her prize back up to the top step. It was no bigger than.....really, it was tiny. And gray. And had a long tail. And Momma was having the time of her life with it.


That's as scary as I want my night to be!

The Furnace Blues

I had a bad day yesterday. Well maybe 'bad' is to strong a word. It just wasn't all that pleasant. Sadly the man who put our new furnace in said he couldn't work on it. Hearing that put me in a bad attitude. I felt as though I was given a brush off and the 'christian' in him was not acting properly. There was no offer of help or suggestion of who might help. So I had to get out the Yellow Pages. I just quickly asked the Lord to lead me to the right place and I found myself calling a place here in town that is owned by Christians....hence the fish on their advertising! I was told they couldn't come out until later in the evening and then put on hold for a minute. The woman came back and said, "I can have someone there between 3-5." That was fine I didn't expect someone right away. At two, the phone rang. The woman told me that the technician was on their way. Cool. He was there in less than five minutes and I wasn't completely ready for him.

Almost four hours, two technicians and $4o0 later my furnace was running. But in between there I shed some tears while alone in the house. I called my sister with updates, and just broke down telling her how nice it would be to not be alone in cases like this. It is the one thing I do not like about being single. I have to go on blind faith that the strange men in my basement know what they are doing and are not cheating me.

It turned out that it probably was a good thing that the guy who put the furnace in did not come to look at it as these two technicians found some 'faulty' problems with it. Hmmmm. That is all I will say on that.

But gee Lord, $400??? And more to come. It was a gentle reminder of the fact that I am single because I have to fully rely on God. If I weren't, knowing the way I am I would rely to much on a man than THE man.

If They Could See Me Now

I wish you could have seen me last night. No, wait, on second thought I don't think that would have been wise. Course it is that time of year to be scary! My furnace is not working, yet. And last night as some of us know was the coldest night so far. I broke out the winter pj's, and dove under two big blankets with a crocheted shawl over my head and around my shoulders. I would have worn a hat but I couldn't find one. I laid awake reading for awhile and like a doofus realized I could have been wearing mittens while I did that! The cat, tucked away neatly on the nearby rocking chair, looked at me several times like I was nuts. To warm things up this morning I made a pot of vegetable beef soup. I love to cook and create. I don't like soup. There are only two kinds I tolerate, tomato and potato. But this did make the house smell nice. So I'm still bundled up waiting for the furnace guy to get here. I'm a little aprehensive, a little on the nervous side. He had to go back to the shop for something. We don't have the money for this big repair. But as I so well know, God is in control and all I have to do is ask Him for the peace I need. So what am I waiting for?

What do you do to keep warm?

Chilled to the Bone

Last night when I went to bed I was so chilled that I put on two blankets and wrapped a shawl around my head. My insides were chattering. Thankfully the cat curled up at my feet and I slipped into warm oblivion. But I woke up around three thirty and was wide awake. I had the alarm set for six because I needed to be out the door by eight. I laid there for awhile with all sorts of thoughts running through my head. I finally asked God, "why am I awake, do you have something to talk to me about?" I really never got an answer so I just laid there, turning and tossing and getting up once to feed the cat. Last time I looked at the clock it said 4:30 and I came to the conclusion that I would fall asleep just about when it was time to get up. Sure enough, I did. I may not have gotten an answer to my question I asked of God, but I was able to rest assured that I was wrapped in the warmth of His love and everything was under control. Maybe I was awake just in order to remember that.

Fast Food Blues

Since being ill last week I have had the opportunity to not eat much food. I wanted to loose a little more weight, just not like this. However when I put a pair of new jeans on tonight and discovered they no longer hugged my body the way they did when I bought them, which is why I bought them, I panicked. I don't own a belt, don't like them. I tried a couple of other pair on, same thing. Guess it's back to Goodwill for some new jeans! But I digress......

I made a pan of mac and cheese tonight thought it sounded good. Looked at it after it was done, took a bite and threw it away. It just didn't happen. I then remembered my all time favorite comfort food after being sick is an Arby's roast beef sandwich. Plain. When you walk into Arby's they shout, "Hi, welcome to Arby's" without even looking at your face most of the time. I just want to say, "leave me alone I'm looking at the menu." But what REALLY gets me is while someone is taking my order they still stop and to say "Hi welcome to Arby's" to whoever walks in the door. It is so rude. Then they have to stop and ask you "what was that you said?" I was taught when you were talking to someone you didn't stop in mid sentence and start talking to someone else. It's called MANNERS. Even big business has forgotten that.

I think I'll write Arby's a note. :-)

What A Difference.....A Day Makes

It's been a horrible week. Oh well maybe not that horrible. Last week I came down with the flu. I mean THE FLU. And usually after that you start to feel better. That didn't happen. I got worse in other ways. Two days ago I finally broke down and had someone take me to the ER. I am so blessed. Every time in my life I've gone to the ER I've had good service. I got excellent care this time. After two liters of fluids because I was dehydrated, several tubes of blood and the little cup to tinkle in.....the results were in. I had one of the worse infections the doctor has ever seen. I literally began to feel better after the first dose of antibiotic.

Soon the bills will start to arrive. You get billed for the nurse in the Triage, the doctor in the Triage, the doctor in the ER, radiology, lab, bathroom attendant and blanket....well maybe not those two but it will seem like it. How does one pay for that when there is no insurance and no income? Thankfully.....My God shall supply ALL my needs according to His riches in Glory!

On another note as I said either here or on Facebook. I was letting the Lord restore a friendship that had been damaged over 2 years ago. I heard from this friend and afterwords accessed some of the things she said to me. I said to the Lord, "nothing has changed, she still sounds the same, she still talks like everything is depressing, she still complained about how busy she is, why do I want to get re involved with all that again?" I haven't got an answer yet. It still bugs me.

Ok, I think I'll get some rest.

It's A Hope Thing

Do you know who some of the most hopeful people are in the world today? Here's a clue. Every year since 1908 they have faithfully stood by their men patiently and eagerly waiting. Waiting with a glint in their eye and confidence in their heart that one day while they are still alive to tell the tale, one-day so that generations to come can recall the amazement of it all, the Chicago Cubs will again win a World Series.

So many things have occurred since the Cubs won a series. Radio and television were invented. Haley's Comet passed the earth, twice! Sixteen U.S. presidents were elected. Five states were admitted to the Union. Man landed on the moon, as did several home runs given up by Cub's pitchers!

Seems kind of silly to have hope in something that doesn't seem possible, but a Cub fan always speaks hope. From "this year the Cubs will go all the way" to "we'll get em next year!" We've been saying it since 1909.

We've all let those 'woe is me attitudes' slip out now and then. The thing I hear the most is, "I guess it's just my lot in life to...."and then the blank is filled in with something negative. Through certain circumstances over the past few years, I've learned to start speaking to that which I can not see yet. I try as much as possible to speak out the hope that is in my heart. And when I do, I'm breathing the air of destiny. Pretty cool huh?

For example, I have something in my heart that I feel so strongly about that when I see it, read about it, hear about it, write about it, well I just get all emotional. It's Italy. There's something about Italy that gets me all mushy. I believe one day I will go there because God has placed it in my heart so strongly. So instead of the usual, "yeah right like I'd ever get to go to Italy", I speak out the hope that is in my heart, "someday WHEN I get to Italy."

I've been thinking about this Destiny and Hope thing for quite some time now and decided it was to be my theme this month. Then just a few nights ago Kim Clement spoke the same thing that I have been feeling and the same words I have been doodling on pieces of paper.

"I found out that when I'm in the fiery furnace that's when I see the fourth man, when I'm in the lions den, that's when I hear His voice the greatest, when I"m in the pit that's when my gift is sharpened and when I'm in the prison that's when God really sharpens my sword BECAUSE He is prepraing me for something greater!"

Something greater than Pekin? How about Italy? I'd like to go go to Scotland too while your at it! How about the New York Times Best Seller List, how about the Cubs winning the World Series? You see there is always hope, with a God like ours how can there not be?

My Apologies

As I set here listening to Josh Groban and eating candy corn I want to convey my humblest apologies for not being around lately. Two weeks ago I had an emergency with my sister and life has not been the same since. Things have settled down a bit. I have to admit I am very disappointed in some of my family at this very difficult time yet at the same time I'm so very thankful and blessed to have church family. Some have gone many extra miles to help us. They are there for me to call when I'm driving down the road and being an emotional wreck. A dear sweet woman from church who just very recently lost her husband sent me, the caregiver, a very nice "thinking of you" card. It not only brought tears to my eyes to read, but just the mere thought that someone was actually thinking of me and took the time to let me know was heart wrenching. Especially to receive it from someone that is going through so much herself. I can honestly say that if we didn't have our church family and friends, we would be pretty much on our own.

Some things I can laugh about. Some things make me see red. For instance, I asked a family member to PLEASE make a few phone calls for me I was at the end of my rope talking to people. Their response was, "I hate doing that" and I was proud of myself for saying, "yeah well I hate putting my sister on a bedpan every day but I do it".

I look forward to being with 'my' kids tomorrow! Paperwork can wait.

SATURDAY

I took sister K with me to the hospital today, to see our sister N. I thought it was high time someone other than myself saw what was happening. We hadn't been in her room five minutes and I noticed sister K wiping tears from her eyes over what she saw. Sister N is all hooked up to electrodes and is being monitored. FINALLY. I couldn't stay long. Sister N is doing strange stuff with her food before she takes a bite. Then her phone rang and because she couldn't reach it and had her food tray in front of her I answered it and she got mad at me and said, "excuse me I'm not insane yet". Whew! After we left we treated ourselves to the never ending pasta deal at Olive Garden!! My favorite.

Book Giveaway Question

Question......For $10,000, would you be willing to move away and never speak to your best friend for a year? No phone calls, no emails, no letters, no texting.

Everyone who answers the question will get their name put in a 'hat' and one will be drawn for the book, "You're All That" Understand God's Design for Your Life by Paula White.

No Anonymous Posts. Deadline is September 10th 2010

Sounding Off

Tonight's blog post is a sounding board for my sanity.

I was reminded again today the importance of caring. First of all, not many people know the extent of the 'problem' here at home. One family member told me a couple of months ago, "I do not envy you at all". In other words, don't count on me. Another family member has not seen my sister since June 11th. Once in awhile that particular one calls to check in. But gone are the 'wanna go out to lunch' or 'need anything from the store' calls. I guess they think that because our sister is an invalid, so am I. WRONG. I still have a life and I intend on living it. Just in a limited capacity at the moment. But here's the scene. We have neighbors on each side that are in ill health, they give us fruit, veggies, company and most importantly they INSIST that if we need anything we let them know. Even if it's just the need to set and chat. And I always say to them, 'that goes for you too, if there is anything I can do, let me know and I will do it.' I also do things without being asked. Share this, share that, a friendly wave, a note, a how are you etc. That is what life is about. We have church family that call, send notes, ( granted most are for my sister and not the caregiver but I digress ) get my sister out of the house and physically in the car. They bring us meals, they do some projects for us around the house. They let us know they are praying for us and we notice a difference.

Some big changes are in the future for us. I don't want to harden my heart but I will look to and share my life and it's changes with my neighbors and church family before I do so with others.

I used to really dislike the phrase, "what goes around comes around".....but it is really true. Unfortunately some people just don't get how life is supposed to be.

Sophia Patrillo once said, "if you can't count on family, who the hell can you count on"...my answer.... everyone else.

Me Me Me

I was awake for more than three hours in the night. I stared at the ceiling, got up, did some writing in my journal, prayed, ate a Popsicle, did some reading. Fell asleep around fourish. An hour later woke up to help my sister. Yesterday I was told by a very wise person that there are many that are praying for me and my sister. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don't. I know there are. But for me, I've always needed more. Maybe it's because as the youngest I've been spoiled. But I am one of those that needs to be noticed when it comes to a few things in life. Every day I go to the mailbox and there is a card or letter for my sister. No mention of me. The phone calls arrive for her, no mention of me. I check her e-mail. No mention of me. There are a few who do keep in contact with me and ask how I am. But not all that many. I bump into people out and about and it's 'how's Nora'. No mention of me. So here's what I'm going to say the next time someone asks me how she is...."well lets see, she lives the life of Riley, she's in bed or her wheelchair, she has someone that puts her on the bedpan when she needs it, is fed properly, her needs are taken care of by me night and day, she's pretty well off. I'm the one that's a wreck, thanks for asking." :-)

A caregivers life is often overlooked. Those that know this and help to keep my spirits up are those that I hold dear to my heart.

Today I will find something to laugh about.

Bump in the night.........

From someone that has experienced the actual sighting of a real angel, I often lay awake at night hearing the noises around the house. Ever hear those creaking and little thumping noises? You know, the ones where someone would say to you, 'oh that's just the house settling'. My response to that would be, 'settling, it's been here over 60 years how much more settling does it need?' I tend to feel those noises are angels positioning themselves on my house. Ready for any battle that might come my way. Yeah nothing spooky about those sounds. The only one that needs to be spooked out is the enemy because my angels are here and they win!

But I digress......... I spilled the beans to my pastor today about the future around here. It is good to get good, wise council and encouragement.

Thank God it's a New Day!

The past few days have been rather bad. Wednesday started out bad and ended the same way. By Thursday I had my sister in the ER to correct a 'minor' problem. First they told us the ambulance would be there to transport her back home in 20 minutes. THREE hours later they arrived. I told them I was about ready to send the Marines out for them. That should have been three hours to myself to relax, but that didn't happen. After coming home and feeling better, we ate supper and then it all started again. Sparing any gory details let's just say I let the knot at the end of my rope come untied and slid off. It was a very emotional time in which I told my sister, she has to do something about her life. I can't do this anymore. I can't be expected to do ALL that I am doing. Neither one of us have 'quality of life' anymore and that's just not right. I have absolutely no support. People come to the house to see her, call her, visit with her, send her notes and cards and they forget that the caregiver is the one that needs most of that sort of thing. I do not want to whine. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to feel guilty about the future. Or scared because when things change for her, they are going to change for me too. I am thankful I have a relationship with a God that has it all figured out for the good. I just hope He lets me in on the plan pretty soon. :-)

And to top it all off the three six week old kittens I have that need homes, one of them is not walking on it's back legs and it has me worried. Always something.

For Me!

Over the past couple of falls and winters I've been attending a Tuesday morning womens Bible study at a church in Tremont. It has been great for me. I was able to do Beth Moore's studies on Esther and Daniel, and the fellowship with women I don't know was an answer to prayer. The new session starts on Sept. 14th and I would LOVE to be able to attend. Even though I've already done the study they are doing ( Beth Moore's study on Revelation) I would love to do it again. Not to mention the fact that at this point in my life I NEED relationships and fellowship.

It is tough on Nora for me to be gone from home for to long, especially in the monrings .I would have to leave at 8:45 and be gone till around noon.

Who knows what our life will be like by Sept. 14th but I would really like to be a part of Bible study again. Would you please pray about this for me? Thank you!

Yesterday

Have you ever heard the two expressions, "I laughed all the way to the bank" or "I was so mad I screamed"? Well I've never actually laughed all the way to the bank, but I have been so mad that I screamed. Yesterday I sat down at my cafe, my food was put in front of me and my phone rang. I had to rush right back home. I felt so 'put out' again, like yet another part of my life has slipped away, angry at my circumstances and that of my sister's. We quickly boxed up my food, I left the cafe, walked out and forgot where I actually was parked. On my drive up the main road to home I was fuming. And it was at that point that I literally screamed out loud, three times. After the third time I really felt better and actually laughed a little bit. Not proud of who I have become in all of this but I'm reminded that it's only temporary.

Just What I Need...and a question

My former best friend who I had a falling out with two years ago, has approached me to either come over to the house to help or for us to get together and have lunch or dinner sometime. She says she is very serious about the offer and wants me to think about it. Part of me thinks it would be nice to have someone to set and talk with, another part of me thinks, "why in the world would I want to set and talk with her?" It would be extremely awkward, yet it might be the start of something nice. I don't know. All I can do is pray about it.

How would you feel if someone you had a parting of ways with because of something they did that they shouldn't have, approached you for possible reconciliation?

Slipping Away

I sometimes feel as though my own life is slipping away. We will soon have a new ramp built for my sister. It will take up all of my small front yard in order for it to work. I will no longer be able to set outside and enjoy the neighborhood. I have to make sure I get angry over the right stuff and not take it out on my sister. Not that I would ever do that, it just seems like sometimes my own life is being taken away from me. Today I went out to a late lunch. I sat down in the diner, ordered my food, got my salad and my phone rang. I had to rush right home, they had to bag up my food and by the time I got out to the car my phone rang again with, 'where are you'? It has been for me one of those, "I can't take much more of this" days. Is this what the rest of my life and hers is going to be like? We are both to young. I hope that no one I know ever takes their health, their life, their family for granted. Thankfully I cling to a God who has all the answers.

Have You Ever.......

Have you ever been surrounded by people and still felt like no one really gives a hoot? Is the best conversation of your day the one you have with the clerk at the checkout lane? Sometimes that's the way I feel and there isn't anyone going to tell me that I shouldn't feel that way. Some of my best relationships are with other Christians, then again some of the worst times of my life have been because another Christian said or did something to me they shouldn't have. I saw Carman on TBN last night and he was saying the exact same thing. He said he would rather have a busload of athiests with oozies coming at him instead of another Christian. I can relate. :-)

Progress!

It is still raining. In the distance I can hear the rumbling of thunder and the singing of the red birds. Once again reminding me that even in the midst of storms there are things to be joyful about. Ever since the episode a couple of years ago with my former best friend, I have been praying for new relationships. And along with that prayer I have been asking God to send someone to help me take care of some many needs around my house that I can't do myself. Not only do I have some new relationships forming, I also have some of the needs around my house being taken care of! Someone at church pulled me aside one day and insisted I tell them what I'm in need of. So being the emotional person I sometimes am, I just blurted out several things. Within the next few weeks, those needs were being taken care of! I needed mulberry trees cut down and one day a tree service pulled up and did the job! FREE! I needed a new driveway and one day an asphalt service pulled up and did the job, FREE! I am so thankful to be a part of a church family that knows how to take care of one another.

God is so good.

As for my sister, I was laying on the couch last night and she was in her bed. She said, "hey, I just sat up on the edge of my bed by myself"....I said, "cool, now get up and walk".

She has never been able to set up by herself, I always have to help her. Sounds like a little step of progress but it's progress!

More Lord!!

Friday!

It was a very busy day today. Got my sister to the doctor. A fairly new family from church is helping us out and going way beyond the call of duty. We are so grateful. He took the morning off work to help get my sister in the car and then followed us to the doctor and sat and waited for us while we were there. He plans on doing it again in a couple of weeks. God is taking care of so many of our needs around the house it's amazing. My sister needs to see the neurologist again and we are waiting on that appointment. Her doctor today said we need to find out what has caused all of this and then do something to help manage it. Might I say .....duh to that! :-) Then physical therapy came. Then I went to the laundromat, it's just so much easier to do it all at once there than going up and down the basement steps all day long. Then I went to Walmart for meds and dinner. I am in my comfy nightshirt and lounging in the a/c. Life is good, God is better.

My sister.....and the cat!

The Big Day

Tomorrow is the big day. My sister has a doctors appt. It will be her first time in over a month to be out of the house. We have two wonderful guys coming to help get us transported to the doctor. It again reminds me of what church family is and should be all about. Someone willing to do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. People who are ready, willing and able to look after us 'widows and orphans' as the Bible tells us to do. Tomorrow will be a bit of a challenge though. Have you ever tried to dress someone that can't stand up? I do it every day but tomorrow she wants to wear jeans! :-)

A picture and a question

Here is my kitty, Miss Marple aka Shmoopie. She is on her throne, one of many! I managed to get to my hangout early this morning. Men in speedo shorts and biking gear just came in. At least they aren't wearing flip flops, I detest flip flops on men! So what are you doing for the 4th of July??

Worth a Thousand Words

I have entered into the 21st Century....I am the proud owner of a digital camera. I saved a jar full of change and bought myself a camera as a birthday present to myself. ( my birthday being June 11th, did you miss it? ) The camera remained in the box for nearly a week before I took it out. And today for the first time I tried to download photos onto Facebook etc. You will never guess who I've been taking photos of the most! I'll try and share one with you here!

My New Title

I had been wanting to change some of the title of my Blog and I asked for a few suggestions. I didn't want to be unique, I wanted to be different! Someone suggested the word "handmaiden" and I began to do some research on the meaning of the word. I didn't really care for the dictionaries answer so I dug a little deeper, into God's kingdom. And then I came across something mentioned in an old Elijah List post and that pretty much helped me make up my mind.

What it boils down to is a handmaiden is a servant of the Lord. Let me share with you the things I read that helped me choose this title and you can go to these places and read if you want, or just take my word for it! :-)

http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word/7447

http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word/7588
"She is capable, strong, powerful and equipped with the very virtue of Christ. These beautiful ones in the sight of the Lord are mighty women of valor who are hearing the voice of the Lord calling them with clarity. They are not afraid to stand, not afraid to war, not afraid to give preference to their fellow brothers and sisters in genuine Godly humility as they yield themselves as servants and handmaidens of the Lord. The Lord is causing a new Godly confidence to arise from deep within to prepare them for the days ahead as they are given insight, foresight and apostolic strategy that are behind the scenes—the hidden treasures of the Lord who are bursting forth as a prototype of what the Bride of Christ will look like at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb"

And finally.....

Mary stayed with Elizabeth for about three months (and helped her)" (Luke 1:56). The Lord may send you to serve other peoples' miracles before He delivers your own, but He will come through. All of His promises are "yes" and "amen." "Shall I bring you to the point of birth and not give delivery?" (Isaiah 66:7-9

Tuesday Talk

When a person tells you what should be done in a situation, in no uncertain terms, is that a form of judging? I got one of those e-mails yesterday, in behalf of my sister's current condition, in which the person told me what she should do and why she is the way she is. Because of not living a healthy lifestyle she is now paying the price. Well yeah, duh. I kind of already knew that and so did she. Thanks for your input. Should I remind you of some of your past ways and why you are experiencing what you are now?? Or should I just laugh it off and chalk it up to insensitivity during my current state of mind? LOL.

Sometimes I have noticed that people think my sister is faking things and not really as bad as she seems. My comment to that, you come and stay with her for about two hours and we'll see who is the fake.

Wow, do I have an attitude? Yep. And I know how to use it!

But seriously. I press on and leave the naysayers in the dust.

A Day of Rest

I didn't make it to church today. Just needed the rest of not having to get up and go. I did however manage to get out for a bit and get some breakfast someplace other than the kitchen. Came home, got the sister out of bed and read the paper.

I notice during the week that she is perkier and is making some progress. But on the weekends when therapy doesn't come around she seems more emotional. I told her in no uncertain terms is she going to lay in bed for 17 hours again. Yes you heard me right.

I also find that I am doing little things for her that she could be doing herself....that's going to stop too. I may be a servant but I'm not a slave. :-)

I look forward to the rest of my Sunday where I can lay around, maybe watch a John Wayne movie, take a nap and then watch MYSTERY on PBS tonight. We do love our British mysteries!

Give me a ring....but not if I'm napping!

I managed to go to my favorite hangout for breakfast this morning. While tending to my sister before I left, the phone rang and rang and rang and I just said, "sorry, answering is not on my agenda at the moment."

Then while we were trying to rest it started doing the same thing. Ring Ring Ring. I love it when people call and say, "Oh I thought you would be napping". If they thought that then why did they call and make me get up? :-)

Yesterday with the help of the therapist, we stood my sister up for a few seconds. It boosted her morale.

I am reading the book, "Helping Yourself Help Others" by Rosalynn Carter. It's rather old, before the invention of the Internet, but it is really good and it's changing my outlook and making me wonder if out of all of this a new ministry might be in the works for me. Hmmmmm.

Ok, I've got a little time, going to rest.

Fresh News

Well let's see. The official therapy started today. My sister who is normally in pain is now in more pain from her first workout. No pain, no gain. I worked with the therapist and we tried to get her upright on her feet, but it didn't work, yet. I ran some errands. Came home to find out that my niece was in the ER. She has had panic attacks for most of her adult life and several months ago the doc took her off the meds for them. She had a rapid heartbeat for most of the night and went to the ER today. She's home now. I ran more errands. I tried to get a nap but read some of my book instead. It's hot, humid and thunderstormy ( is that a word? )

I am actually going to cook a meal tonight!! I haven't fixed a meal in over a month. I love to cook.

So far the start of the week has been OK.

I'm thinking of changing the name of my Blog to something other than 'Nanny'.....Caregiver? Woman? Any suggestions? Be nice!

Day 3

I was sure we were going to have a better day but that wasn't the case. Well, actually it hasn't been all that bad. Emotions are the biggest problem today. And the therapy visits yesterday wore my sister out and today her pain is worse and she can't do much.

On a lighter note, the tree men came right at 8 this morning. My back yard is bare. And while they were working they accidentally knocked the cable wire out of the house and the cable company says they can't come out till Sunday to fix it. Can you hear me letting out a deep sigh?

In the next day or so I have someone coming to pour rocks in my driveway to put "Lake Thomas" out of commission! Yeah!! And then someone else to cut down more weeds and trees that are against the house. And then someone to clean the gutters. And then........

When someone from church asked what I needed I just broke down and told them some stuff....and my God is supplying all our needs according to His riches in Glory! Philippians 4:19

Day Two of a Caregivers Life

This morning didn't start off well. Enough said. But we've both gotten dressed, had breakfast and brushed our teeth. What more can you want? :-) I walked down the street and got a newspaper. I like looking at Thursdays paper, at all the entertainment stuff going on that I never go to. HaHa.

I have amazing news that I will be sharing in the near future. About how church family and friends are taking care of our needs, just as the Bible directs us to do.

Therapy person coming soon! Have to corral the cat. :-)

At Home Day One

My sister came home from the nursing home yesterday. It was a very emotional and challenging day all around. And it didn't help matters much when a family member denied us a favor. Oh to be so selfish. Oh well, one day it will be their turn and I'm sure that I will be more accommodating but I digress. Today has been a little easier, but not much. Tomorrow will be even better. The home health care nurse is here. Therapy will be around later this week. Life has changed, but not to much. I can still get out and about here and there. And I'm going to be enlisting the help of people even though they might not know it yet. The number one thing caregivers are supposed to do is tell people they need help. The last time I was a caregiver I didn't do that.....this time I will.

Trusting God through it all. He continues to provide.

Cheers!

I miss the days when I had friends to go and do things with. Ok, I still have one or two that I do that with. But gee whiz I can remember when I would go and do things like go to a movie, out to eat, to a ballgame, to someones house for fun and games etc etc. Now everyone is to busy with family or some other excuse. Ok, I guess family does come first. But you know there are people out there in the world, in our neighborhood, in our church, in our job.....people that don't have anyone. Not for lack of trying. I read all these books and magazine articles on the importance of doing things with your girlfriends and all that jazz but what do you do if you don't have any? Or can't find any? Or find some that just sort of fizzle out?

I have to admit I have been fighting temptation to go back to the bars. LOL....I mean if you find the right one you can be like a family there.....just like "Cheers". I'm not throwing a pity party, don't anyone come near me with that....I'm just stating facts. Maybe a purpose in everything I'm going through right now is to open some eyes. Not everyone in life is married with children. But we still have things going on in our lives that we could share. I know it's easier for some of us to stop what we are doing at the drop of a hat and go to a movie or out to eat or shopping or_________. But there are also such things as 'plans', not everything has to be spur of the moment.

Anybody want to plan something?

A Really Neat Thought

I had a really cool thought early this morning. As I was laying on the bed, the house was quiet, no t.v. no radio. The only sounds were the thunder, the cracks of lightening, the wind and the rain pelting against the house.....and amongst all of that I could hear birds singing. Especially the cardinals.

It struck me as sort of amazing and I smiled. Here they were, these little creatures sitting somewhere in the trees during a storm singing happily. A reminder that even during the storms of life when all sorts of junk is coming against us, all we need to do is sing joyfully to remind ourselves of how temporary storms are.

If I thought about it longer I could get really philosophical and write more about it, but why ruin a good thing? :-) Simply put......."Be joyful always" 1 Thessalonians 5:16

If you are one of those who can't find anything to be joyful about, come see me, I'll tell you a few things and set you straight. :-)

Changing

It's funny how with so much going on in my life at the moment I haven't been sitting at the computer doing any writing. What's up with that?

I do have something coming up. How about this? In a few weeks I will have to change something about my Blog. If you can guess what I will have to change, then you win the prize! You have to make a comment to this post in order to be eligible. ( your answer doesn't have to be correct, I just need your post )

We'll make this a new contest. Not sure what the prize will be yet, how about a surprise? ( which in other words means it will most likely be a book, or not ) :-)

Reflecting

On this chilly May morning as I sit and enjoy my coffee and the cafe surroundings, I am of course reflecting on Mother's Day. My own mother left us in 1997 at the young age of 67. For a lot of people who have lost their parents, Mother's Day and Father's Day can be hard. But I remember the first Mother's Day that came around after my mother left when a friend of mine asked me if it bothered me. I recall shaking my head from side to side and saying flat out, "not at all", and I meant it. Sure it was a little on the bittersweet side, but I knew where mom had gone. I knew she no longer required a wheel chair, or strong pain killers or breathing treatments. She is now in a place where she has much more to do than sit around on a cloud playing a harp! Sure I miss her, but I don't let it get me down. I try and find other mother's and tell them "Happy Mother's Day", it makes me feel good. I'll do the same when Father's Day rolls around too!

I Am Back!

It has been awhile hasn't it? Life has been rather different lately. The past month or so has been challenging and full of changes. I am thankful that the God I serve has it all under control. I don't know what today might bring but I am confident that since the Lord knows the number of hairs on my head, He will walk through the day with me. I will invite him into my home, I will ask him to set next to me in the car, and if I go out to eat by myself I will invite him to share my table. If he has something to say to me today I don't want to miss it!

And how have you been?

Congrats and a bit more

Congratulations to Colleen whose name was drawn to win the first giveaway from my Blog! I'll get your prize to you before you head back to Brazil Colleen!

My sister came home from the hospital today. Life is challenging but God is bigger than any of what life throws at us.

Changes

As I was sitting watching Masterpiece on PBS last night I was also writing in my journal about how when my sister comes home from the hospital this week, life will change, again. I wont have as much freedom as I've had these past several weeks, I will once again be taking care of a loved one. But we are claiming that this is all just temporary, as most of lifes challenges are.

The giveaway will still happen this coming week!

I'm Challenging You To Do Something

It may not be much of a challenge for me, but for some people it is......April is National Card and Letter Writing Month.

According to a survey, who it was done by I have no idea but it sounds about right....most of us get a mood boost when we receive a handwritten note because it shows you're making an effort to reach out.

I'm going to take a couple of weeks to cut back on my personal e-mail, ( heck don't get much of that either, most of it is Forwards of some sort ) and cut back on my FACEBOOK and concentrate a little more on sending some personal notes and/or letters. Even if it is to someone I see all the time I'm still going to take a few minutes and write a few lines of encouragement or just say "hi".

So lets take the challenge......send a note or letter the old fashioned way during the month of April. It doesn't take much more time than it does to send an e-mail. And who cares if your handwriting is terrible? Or if it hurts to hold a pen which I can sort of relate to, print a note off your computer. Find an envelope, address it, put a stamp on it ( use those stamps so the Post Office doesn't go out of business! ) and there ya have it! You are most always on the go, so it shouldn't be to hard to find a mailbox. If not, put it in your house mailbox and your carrier will take it with him/her!

Go on, make someones day.....make them smile when they see something other than a bill in the box!

Don't forget......giveaway coming soon!

Some Thoughts

I've been sitting at the computer a little longer than I should be this morning. I said to the cat awhile ago, "why am I sitting here, I've got things I should be doing." She just looked at me and started to take yet another bath. I'm saddened by the big 'health care' vote, but I'm not giving up hope. However, God isn't going to take it lightly that we are including abortion in 'health care'. May He continue to have mercy on us all. Oh a lighter note, I'm getting a haircut today! I got one not to long ago and I'm just not happy with it, so I thought......I'm entitled to another one!

The clothes are in the dryer, the dishes have been washed, the sun is shining, the cat is sleeping in the sun and God is still on the throne! I'm content.

Attention Book Lovers

I will begin a contest on April 2nd. The prize is a book! "40 Days in God's Presence" A Devotional Encounter by Rebecca Barlow Jordan. The rules are extremely easy and entering is will be a piece of cake!

The first thing you need to do is become a FOLLOWER of my blog and comment on this actual post.

That's it!

Question for you

Well we experienced one nice spring day here this week. Back to rain, and cool and gloom, but at least the robins are back! What is your favorite part of Spring?

I Think It's Spring and something new!

I've been 'complaining' that I haven't see any robins yet. For the past several years I have written down when I see the first robin of spring. One year I even saw one in late January. Driving to church yesterday I finally saw my first frolicking robin. I got giddy! And then the temps were in the low 50's and I got even more giddy! Then it rained. But at least the rain washes away the old yucky dirty snow that is left.

So today starts my new eating and exercise plan. I'm not going whole hog, no pun intended. I'm simply eliminating certain foods and walking more. I want to loose the slight weight I gained over the winter, and a bit more.

Yesterday in the car, my ten year old friend Ethan piped up out of the blue and said, "did you know it's inappropriate to ask someone how old they are or how much they weight". :-)

So in light of that wise musing, I am not going to tell my weight. I am going to tell you that I want to loose ten pounds, and then some.

In the near future I'm going to sponsor a 'give away' to my readers and followers. You have to make comments on my posts though and you can not be 'anonymous'. What am I giving away? Well you will see, something a little different and fun each time! :-) Stay tuned.

Have You Ever..........

Have you ever had to make alterations in your own life in order to take care of a loved one? It can be a challenging time in every ones life but in the long run, everyone benefits from it. Right? My oldest sisters plight as of late has been having to deal with severe nerve damage and sometimes excruciating pain in one of her legs. She has been off work for nearly two weeks, using a walker to get around. She has fallen several times and sometimes taking a step over a bump or a crack in the pavement scares her. Today at six a.m. she left to try and return to work. She has gotten somewhat better. As her sometimes impatient sister and helper I suppose I will worry all day about how she is doing. I do know for a fact though that prayer has helped. God has been faithful and He always will be.

So what sort of challenges have you faced lately? I'd like to hear.

Some Thoughts

It's been such a captivating couple of weeks I haven't taken the time to let you know about it all. My oldest sister is having trouble with her leg. She has been off work for awhile and I have been helping her out more than usual. I'm not good at this. I don't have the patience. I get frustrated and sometimes down right mean. I mean couldn't you have asked me to hand you something BEFORE I sat down? I would not make a good caregiver. Except, that's pretty much what I've done most of my life, with children. It's different when the person is not your own loved one don't you think? I am mad that she is going through this thing. Not mad at her. It's sort of like taking care of my mom all over again and I didn't like that either. I did it because I had to. Because as the single person in the family, it was my responsibility. And my privilege. But still, I didn't like it. :-)

A Captivating Thought

The delivery was supposed to be here 'sometime early afternoon'. It is now 3 p.m. When does 'early afternoon' end? We've all experienced this before haven't we? Putting our life on hold for the repair man or delivery guy to show up. It's the day we get all sorts of fun offers to go somewhere or do something with someone and we have to tell them , "sorry, I'm waiting for Mr. Fixit to show up". It ruins our whole day. The waiting, the constant waiting is just to much to bear some times. In my case I've had a room torn apart with most of it's belongings in the living room, waiting......waiting.....waiting. The cat, who must be corralled for every ones protection knows something is going on. She too waits, and waits. If I have to put the room back together and wait yet another day, I will have a few choice words to say.

However, my new Bible study started last night. We are supposed to ask God each day to reveal himself to us. Today has been a perfect day for that. I'm still waiting. :-)

I Don't Care

Have you noticed how nonchalantly we throw around the phrase, "I Don't Care"? I got to thinking about that the other day when it was used within a 'spiritual' mans dialogue. I have to admit I didn't appreciate his take on my situation by saying he didn't care. I mean isn't a 'spiritual' man supposed to care about my plight? Yeah, he's only human, but that's another phrase we throw around too. Saying "I Don't Care" just tells the other person one thing....you don't care, you don't have time for them, you bother them, you don't matter, whatever it is you are experiencing they don't have time for. OK, that's more than one thing but you get the point.

Not crazy about what I just said? I don't care. :-) But seriously, I do.

We should care more, life would be a bit more joyful.

One Single Valentine

*Revising an article I wrote in 2002*

As a single person, when Valentine's Day rolls around, it can be a good opportunity to do a lot of moaning and groaning. But I'll keep my whining brief. As I look back on the many Valentine's Days of my life, I sometimes think how nice it would have been to actually get some sort of endearment from someone other than my mom or a friend. Almost forty seven years on this earth and I have never received flowers or candy from anyone on Valentine's Day. But hey, it's ok. I will survive!

I did a little research of my own concerning Cupid's Day. I asked 25 single women, some friends, some people I didn't know, "what could we as singles do on Valentine's Day to make it a more special day for others?"

Whew! Touchy subject. Out of all the responses I got, only one was positive. The others were hurtful, negative responses. Valentine's Day made them miserable, vengeful, and some of them down right mean. Yikes.

Well, yes it can be depressing. Just like any other day can be if we let it. But it also tells me that we as Single Christian Women need to know this one little fact of life. IT IS OK TO BE SINGLE.

Part 2 to follow!

Prunes

It's a good thing I like prunes. LOL....really I do. They are nice and sweet and good for you! But right now in my life I am in the process of being pruned by God. He is moving people, places, situations and relationships out of my life. Ok, so maybe prunes and being pruned aren't the same thing. But they are both good for you.
I am excited over what God is doing, even though it can be a lonely time. I know for a fact that this year is going to be a year of big changes for me. I will be in a new place! A year of changes ahead!!

On a deadline

I've had a rather busy week. I'm trying to finish an essay to enter into a writing contest. The deadline is the 31st. Hoping to finish it sometime tomorrow or early Saturday morning. Other than that, life is peachy and I'm still trusting God for great and amazing things from Him! God is steering me in to places of blessings!

Declaration

Have you ever had someone say something that helped you put that last piece of the puzzle together? Well in my case it might not be the LAST piece of the puzzle, but it's getting close to it! I believe I now have clearer direction to what I am to pursue this year all because of something someone said in my presence last night. Which just goes to show, you should always keep your mind, heart and eyes open......and your ears too! I am going to continue to declare the following fact:

I'm a highly favored woman of God and blessings follow me where ever I go and God has exciting things in store for me, I will let Him continue to have his way in my life and expect great things from Him this year and always! God is at work!

Don't believe it, I know it's true, the Bible tells me so!

I need..........

I need a new car. In all my life God has provided me with transportation in miraculous ways. My very first car I only paid $1 for. After that, each one was given to me in one way or another. The one I've had of late is on its last legs and sits in my driveway with a flat tire and a motor to the heater that doesn't work. So I'm asking the one true God to provide me with wheels once again so that I may fulfill my God given destiny and pursue those God given dreams. Well, I don't let not having a car stand in my way of my pursuit, it just hinders it a bit. I believe I will have a new car soon and when I do, it will just be another thing God will give me to talk about! Hope this next one has a CD player in it. :-)

Happy New Year!

We ventured out into the frozen tundra of Illinois today to get ourselves a tenderloin at one of our favorite places in town. Being the creative person I am I like to eavesdrop and watch people and I saw something really nice. The waitress told an elderly lady who was by herself that someone anonymously paid her check for her and the lady got a little emotional. Someone has done that for us in the past. It is a great feeling. Not only to have it happen, but to do it for someone else too. Even if you can't afford to pay for someones whole meal, pay for their drink or a dessert or something. What you sow, you reap. Happy New Year!