Have I Totally Forgiven?

Have you ever listened to your pastor's message knowing full well he wrote it with you in mind? Over the past few weeks my pastor has been talking about forgiveness and this past Sunday he touched on a few points on how to know if you have totally forgiven. The points being:

How to know you have totally forgiven.
1.You don’t think about it anymore.
2.You don’t talk about it with anyone.
3.You will feel God’s heart for them.
4.You will pray for God to bless them.
5.You will no longer respond with anger and rage when you think about them.

I am ok with 3-5. But #1 I still have a problem with. I have heard it both ways, it's easy to forgive but you never forget. But wait, Jesus forgave us our sins and remembers them no more. That's what we are to do. How can I forget when I see the person every Sunday morning? I'm good to go through out the week but on Sunday's it all comes back to me.

Maybe it's not so much WHAT happened, but more the sadness of what has transpired from it all.

I wont discuss it with anyone anymore. It's old news anyway. But I guess the only one that can answer my question is God himself.

I remember years ago another good friend of mine did something behind my back ( am I a magnet for this behavior? ) that concerned another friend of mine. The difference was she owned up to it right away and made things right between us and a few years down the road we were able to laugh about it.

I think I have totally forgiven because I see in me the work God has done because of it all and I choose to cling to that instead of the negative. I think it's ok to remember so that I don't forget what the Lord has done.

A Foggy Day Question

I woke up in the middle of the night and looked outside, the fog was so thick I could barely see anything. I usually get up early on Saturday mornings and head to CJ's. That's where I am now. Vanilla Hazelnut is the flavor of coffee for today. Hazelnut is my favorite!
I was wondering, what is your favorite thing about Fall? What is your favorite color of leaf? Do you buy pretty mums to put around your house only to watch them wilt and die in the rain like mine usually do? I have resorted to buying artificial fall flowers now, they are just as pretty and they don't die!

And the retail clerk said.........

The cashier at Walmart asked me how I was and I responded, "I'm doing good, how are you"? and she responded, "I am blessed". I smiled and said I was glad to hear that, then I wished I had said it first! LOL. What a refreshing response to hear from someone! I could tell she meant it. Perhaps her life was in turmoil, maybe she was tired, maybe she was stressed, maybe she hated her job, still she chose to state the facts with a smile on her face. Something we all need to do more often.

The Saga Continues Part 2

As I sit here eating an early lunch I just can't help thinking about how good God is. Last night as I was laying on the couch I was asking the Lord to find a hotel room for me for the conference. Someone I don't even know is in charge of it all and since I'm sort of a late comer with my desire to go with this group of women, I was a little nervous relying on someone else to finalize the details. So as I lay on the couch I decided to continue to trust the Lord in all of this. It was eleven p.m. and I couldn't relax so I got up and checked my e-mail. There waiting for me was a confirmation message that I had a room and would be sharing it with my friend and her mom! I can't begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to this conference. I love being around women I don't know, who knows, maybe my new best friend is in this group of women!? Maybe I will meet someone new at the conference! The possibilities are endless when God is in the midst! I quoted something Joel Osteen said the other day, 'act like it's a done deal' and so I drug out my overnight bag and my overnight cosmetic stuff and began to get it organized, after all November 6th will be here before you know it! When God puts something in your heart, act like it's a done deal even though details aren't finalized yet, what God starts, He always finishes!

Supernatural Saga Continues!

First of all I have to say how it amazes me that as Christians we are supposed to live a debt free life but when you want to go to a Christian event or buy from a Christian website, a credit card is needed. I have never owned a credit card and probably never will. But where there is God, there is a way.

I have had someone tell me they will buy my ticket to go see Beth Moore in November! It's funny, it's not something this person can really afford to do but it's kind of one of those sowing things. :-)

So I called to get some information on sending in payment and was told there are only 3% of tickets left for that event and my payment might not arrive in time. Scare tactic? I hope not. I'm sure the Lord has a ticket with my name on it.

The saga continues because I will need a hotel room too.

Supernatural

I really don't want to scrimp and scrape and dig out something to sell on Ebay or sit in the front yard with a 'for sale' sign on it. I want and expect the money to go see Beth Moore in Springfield to come supernaturally from God, the one who owns all the treasures and has the exact change!

My thought for the day.

Dangerous!

Last winter I discovered a church in Tremont that was offering daytime Bible studies for women. I jumped at the chance and had my first Beth Moore Bible study adventure. When I heard the church was going to do her new study on Esther, I got really excited! Last week when I was talking to someone from the church about the study, I got goosebumps. Esther is just about every Christian woman's favorite woman in the Bible. It's a very intriguing story, one I learned from Veggie Tales! :-) Did you know God is not even mentioned in the book of Esther? Interesting eh?
Going to this study at a different church is something that I so desperately need. Do you ever get to the point in your own church and it's cliques ( yes, sadly churches have cliques) where if you see or talk to the same person one more time you are going to scream? Or, the opposite, if you don't connect with one person pretty soon you are going to pull your hair out! That's pretty much where I have been for several years actually. I'm a little bit in each category.
If you don't know who Beth Moore is, look her up on the Internet. I still have goosebumps talking about this particular study. The official title is, "Esther, It's Tough Being a Woman"
Beth is funny, genuine and a wonderful teacher on history. Did you know that as women we can scream and get mad at the people we love.......but then on the same day we can cry over someone on the television? That's me. Believe it or not.
As I was watching today's hour long video introduction I laughed, I agreed and I got chills, goosebumps and tears over her statement of when this is all over we women are going to be Dangerous Women of God. That is what this meek and quiet woman wants. I'm going to discover and take my destiny when this is all over!
I'm fired up and ready to write!

Wednesday Happenings

"Your future is not determined by your past. But holding on to the past will keep you from moving forward"

This is a direct quote from Joel Osteen. It was Today's Word from him and was in my mailbox this morning. I got to thinking, "have I been holding on to the past?" Have I been dwelling to much on what took place over a year ago? Or has it been on my heart and mind so much in a God way? Either way I believe the words to be true. Not to long ago I finally confessed to the Lord that I had had enough of all these feelings and emotions I have over the episode that happened nearly 15 months ago. And once I really told the Lord I was through and that He could have control over the situation and my feelings, things started to happen.

Sometimes God is silent for our benefit. We just have to be willing to listen to Him in the silence. Isn't that a profound statement! :-) I'm at the stage where I'm getting goosebumps when things happen. I have once again accepted the position of Nursery Coordinator at my church. A thankless job at times but this morning when I got up and was thinking about it, I was impressed upon the fact that I'm supposed to change the fact that it is sometimes thankless. It doesn't have to be. So I move forward with that aspect of things. I was supposed to go to a luncheon yesterday with the Bloomington Christian Women's group.....I was kind of excited about that but it had to be cancelled due to someones illness. That was ok, the fact that the opportunity was there was a goosebump moment. I'm still very excited about the Beth Moore Bible study starting next week. I feel God is going to use the knowledge I gain from it in a big way! I may even be joining a Pekin Writer's Group. Who knows what will come from that!

Let go and let God. Very simple. Sometimes hard to do. But ohhhhh the benefits we reap!

A Really Captivating Message!

It was a quiet week in the life of this single gal. Nothing traumatic, nothing earth shattering. I went out one day this week and got the kids off to school. One of them wanted me to make my 'delicious and famous' french toast but upon opening the refrigerator door we discovered there were no eggs! Oh no, maybe that is a traumatic episode! Thankfully there was cinnamon toast for a backup. I went to the laundromat yesterday to wash blankets and bedding to get ready for the upcoming cool weather. Woohooo.....captivating! In a couple of weeks I start a Beth Moore Bible study at a church in Tremont. I went there last year and did a Beth Moore study on Daniel. I have heard some amazing testimonies from others about this new study on Esther. I am so excited! I will be learning, growing, getting wiser and best of all will be among women I don't know and might get to know! Granted 90% of them are all married with children, but that's ok. Sometimes it gets rough in my own church where all the young married couples hang with the other young married couples. All the old married couples hang with .....well you get the idea. If they only knew how totally captivating I really am they would be busting down my door to get to know me better! Ok, I think I'm digressing......I'm at my favorite spot, CJ's, got here at seven. Will listen to Kim Clement before I go home, then it's off to Lincoln land for some serious thrift shopping!