Book Giveaway Question

Question......For $10,000, would you be willing to move away and never speak to your best friend for a year? No phone calls, no emails, no letters, no texting.

Everyone who answers the question will get their name put in a 'hat' and one will be drawn for the book, "You're All That" Understand God's Design for Your Life by Paula White.

No Anonymous Posts. Deadline is September 10th 2010

Sounding Off

Tonight's blog post is a sounding board for my sanity.

I was reminded again today the importance of caring. First of all, not many people know the extent of the 'problem' here at home. One family member told me a couple of months ago, "I do not envy you at all". In other words, don't count on me. Another family member has not seen my sister since June 11th. Once in awhile that particular one calls to check in. But gone are the 'wanna go out to lunch' or 'need anything from the store' calls. I guess they think that because our sister is an invalid, so am I. WRONG. I still have a life and I intend on living it. Just in a limited capacity at the moment. But here's the scene. We have neighbors on each side that are in ill health, they give us fruit, veggies, company and most importantly they INSIST that if we need anything we let them know. Even if it's just the need to set and chat. And I always say to them, 'that goes for you too, if there is anything I can do, let me know and I will do it.' I also do things without being asked. Share this, share that, a friendly wave, a note, a how are you etc. That is what life is about. We have church family that call, send notes, ( granted most are for my sister and not the caregiver but I digress ) get my sister out of the house and physically in the car. They bring us meals, they do some projects for us around the house. They let us know they are praying for us and we notice a difference.

Some big changes are in the future for us. I don't want to harden my heart but I will look to and share my life and it's changes with my neighbors and church family before I do so with others.

I used to really dislike the phrase, "what goes around comes around".....but it is really true. Unfortunately some people just don't get how life is supposed to be.

Sophia Patrillo once said, "if you can't count on family, who the hell can you count on"...my answer.... everyone else.

Me Me Me

I was awake for more than three hours in the night. I stared at the ceiling, got up, did some writing in my journal, prayed, ate a Popsicle, did some reading. Fell asleep around fourish. An hour later woke up to help my sister. Yesterday I was told by a very wise person that there are many that are praying for me and my sister. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don't. I know there are. But for me, I've always needed more. Maybe it's because as the youngest I've been spoiled. But I am one of those that needs to be noticed when it comes to a few things in life. Every day I go to the mailbox and there is a card or letter for my sister. No mention of me. The phone calls arrive for her, no mention of me. I check her e-mail. No mention of me. There are a few who do keep in contact with me and ask how I am. But not all that many. I bump into people out and about and it's 'how's Nora'. No mention of me. So here's what I'm going to say the next time someone asks me how she is...."well lets see, she lives the life of Riley, she's in bed or her wheelchair, she has someone that puts her on the bedpan when she needs it, is fed properly, her needs are taken care of by me night and day, she's pretty well off. I'm the one that's a wreck, thanks for asking." :-)

A caregivers life is often overlooked. Those that know this and help to keep my spirits up are those that I hold dear to my heart.

Today I will find something to laugh about.

Bump in the night.........

From someone that has experienced the actual sighting of a real angel, I often lay awake at night hearing the noises around the house. Ever hear those creaking and little thumping noises? You know, the ones where someone would say to you, 'oh that's just the house settling'. My response to that would be, 'settling, it's been here over 60 years how much more settling does it need?' I tend to feel those noises are angels positioning themselves on my house. Ready for any battle that might come my way. Yeah nothing spooky about those sounds. The only one that needs to be spooked out is the enemy because my angels are here and they win!

But I digress......... I spilled the beans to my pastor today about the future around here. It is good to get good, wise council and encouragement.

Thank God it's a New Day!

The past few days have been rather bad. Wednesday started out bad and ended the same way. By Thursday I had my sister in the ER to correct a 'minor' problem. First they told us the ambulance would be there to transport her back home in 20 minutes. THREE hours later they arrived. I told them I was about ready to send the Marines out for them. That should have been three hours to myself to relax, but that didn't happen. After coming home and feeling better, we ate supper and then it all started again. Sparing any gory details let's just say I let the knot at the end of my rope come untied and slid off. It was a very emotional time in which I told my sister, she has to do something about her life. I can't do this anymore. I can't be expected to do ALL that I am doing. Neither one of us have 'quality of life' anymore and that's just not right. I have absolutely no support. People come to the house to see her, call her, visit with her, send her notes and cards and they forget that the caregiver is the one that needs most of that sort of thing. I do not want to whine. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to feel guilty about the future. Or scared because when things change for her, they are going to change for me too. I am thankful I have a relationship with a God that has it all figured out for the good. I just hope He lets me in on the plan pretty soon. :-)

And to top it all off the three six week old kittens I have that need homes, one of them is not walking on it's back legs and it has me worried. Always something.

For Me!

Over the past couple of falls and winters I've been attending a Tuesday morning womens Bible study at a church in Tremont. It has been great for me. I was able to do Beth Moore's studies on Esther and Daniel, and the fellowship with women I don't know was an answer to prayer. The new session starts on Sept. 14th and I would LOVE to be able to attend. Even though I've already done the study they are doing ( Beth Moore's study on Revelation) I would love to do it again. Not to mention the fact that at this point in my life I NEED relationships and fellowship.

It is tough on Nora for me to be gone from home for to long, especially in the monrings .I would have to leave at 8:45 and be gone till around noon.

Who knows what our life will be like by Sept. 14th but I would really like to be a part of Bible study again. Would you please pray about this for me? Thank you!

Yesterday

Have you ever heard the two expressions, "I laughed all the way to the bank" or "I was so mad I screamed"? Well I've never actually laughed all the way to the bank, but I have been so mad that I screamed. Yesterday I sat down at my cafe, my food was put in front of me and my phone rang. I had to rush right back home. I felt so 'put out' again, like yet another part of my life has slipped away, angry at my circumstances and that of my sister's. We quickly boxed up my food, I left the cafe, walked out and forgot where I actually was parked. On my drive up the main road to home I was fuming. And it was at that point that I literally screamed out loud, three times. After the third time I really felt better and actually laughed a little bit. Not proud of who I have become in all of this but I'm reminded that it's only temporary.

Just What I Need...and a question

My former best friend who I had a falling out with two years ago, has approached me to either come over to the house to help or for us to get together and have lunch or dinner sometime. She says she is very serious about the offer and wants me to think about it. Part of me thinks it would be nice to have someone to set and talk with, another part of me thinks, "why in the world would I want to set and talk with her?" It would be extremely awkward, yet it might be the start of something nice. I don't know. All I can do is pray about it.

How would you feel if someone you had a parting of ways with because of something they did that they shouldn't have, approached you for possible reconciliation?