It's been a busy few days. I went to a church in Chicago Friday night with three other women. I had a nice time. I enjoyed the speaker. But when people ask me how it was I say, "well, it was good, it was ok". I guess deep down inside myself I wanted and was expecting more. I think that in my spirit there was something I can't put my finger on. Worship was good for me, only two or three songs that really got me going. I got back to my home church on Sunday and inside I was still going strong from Friday night. When we sang the song, "I Am Free" I wished all the uptight white people in my church would get up and actually run and dance and scream......why didn't I do it at my church, I did it at someone elses? Well, ok, I don't own a good bra, every one at that other church didn't know me and probably wouldn't see me again......LOL...excuses excuses. :-)

I'm not feeling well. My sinus, my ear and my jaw are hurting. Go away in the name of Jesus!

Wonderful Wednesday

I should be home, doing laundry, getting some things packed for Friday's getaway. I wish I were more excited about it. I have to admit I'm not to thrilled about sharing a a room with three other people, I'm used to just me and one other and having my own bed. But who knows, it may be fun. Oh this employee here at CJ's drives me nuts! She's one of those who has a loud voice and it just really gets on my nerves!

A nap sounds good.

Yesterday

What a nice day I had yesterday, sitting at Monicals, enjoying the jewelry party, visiting with other women. I like my solitude, but at times it's nice to actually be around people. Especially people who are interested in what I have to say, and interesting in their own way too! Tomorrow I get to see my second cousin who turns 1 year old, for the first time. I have a radical new hairstyle. People have actually looked at me and sucked in their breath.....and then said, "I like it"!

She Spoke!

Yesterday at church, my sister was a witness to it! I was standing at the door talking to a friend of mine when she walked in, early! I spoke first actually, again I said, "hey, how are ya" and she nodded and said she was doing good. But then she asked about my brother. I began to tell her how he is doing etc. and noticed she was not really standing still but walking away as we talked. She mentioned something about someone saying it's a matter of my brother changing some of his ways and I concluded the conversation with , yes, don't we all need to change some of our ways......she heard me, she didn't say anything. I also said, "and I'm doing pretty good too, thanks for asking".....but she was to far gone.

I know, I'm obsessed with the fact that she doesn't inquire about me. I'm obsessed with the fact that she is no longer the Lorrie I used to know. If she were, she would be first in line to want to talk and resolve things. I have concluded that she fears me!! Me! I am to be feared. Right. Then again maybe so!

Wedding Day

I've been going to my church for about 30 years.....yes, 30, and today was the second wedding that I have ever attended there. Hmmmm, something wrong with that picture. Funerals a plenty but weddings, not so many. It was a nice ceremony. I probably would have done things differently, but it was casual. I remember when my grandmother remarried, she was in her 70's. My niece and nephew were 1 and 2 weeks old at the time, and one of them cried through the ceremony and grandma said she never heard a peep she was to nervous and concentrated on the ceremony. When I get married I want children at my ceremony, but I also want their parents to have a clue. If your child begins to act up or runs away from you, don't grab said child and walk in front of the couple and the minister and all the guests to get out......that's what side exits are for. If your child begins to act up or runs away from you, don't go back to your seat with them....take them out, far away. Don't wear jeans to a wedding unless it's a cowboy/country themed outdoor ceremony and I hope I never have to attend one of those. If you attempt to comb your 3 year olds hair two seconds before the bride walks down the aisle and the child begins to cry and whine and produce tears.....STOP COMBING! It's a really easy way to get the child to quiet down.

Ok, what else do I like to complain about. Oh yeah, I really don't like it when we as guests have to set there and listen to some sappy song play while the bride and groom stand up front staring at each other. BORING! That's something I wont do. Yes I want a special song, but I don't want to stand and stare at one another.

And then there's the reception......I would be really tempted to have all my photos taken prior to the ceremony. Fifteen minutes top for photos........then we eat!!! Snack table is nice. If it's a buffet.....two lines, keep it moving!

Parents, don't let your kids run loose in a church, especially one that you are not familiar with. Ladies, don't be pigs in the bathroom. Don't take your plate of cake in with you and sit it on the sink while you do your duty. Take a paper towel and wipe up that mess you see on the sink. Don't stand outside the church door and smoke. Tacky tacky tacky. And watch your language. God lives there.

And those are just a few of my friendly gripes about weddings. LOL

Saturday.... Memories

It's a beautiful, crisp, sunny Saturday morning. The sun is actually shining right into my eyes and shutting the blinds wont even help. So I type with a big red ball of light appearing every time I blink. My coffee of choice this morning is Columbian Supremo, it's ok. I usually go to CJ's on Saturday mornings but I have a wedding to go to today, so I'm staying home to have ample time to get ready for that, have to leave the house around eleven.

I'm rather excited about going to a wedding. It will be the second one I've been to in fifteen years or so. I go to funerals a lot more. I decided to go to this wedding because it will be an opportunity to be in the presence of happy, peppy people. People who are experiencing joy and hope. And I like the fact that if you want to live a positive life, you can't hang around negative people all the time. I guess that's one reason I like being alone. Not lonely, there's a difference.

I saw a movie last night on t.v. that brought back some memories of me and my friendship with Lorrie. The movie, "So I Married an Ax Murderer". I remember years ago when that movie came out and she and I went with her friend Wayne and his wife or girlfriend, don't remember, to see that movie. He had some friends with him too. They were all snoody and stuck up and during the movie, she and I and Wayne were laughing our heads off at Mike Myers while every one else just sort of chuckled here and there. As if they were to good to be amused by the stupidity and funness ( is that a word ) of the movie. But you knew deep down inside they really wanted to laugh out loud, they just didn't want to appear amused. Lorrie and I continued to talk about that night for years.

My sister went up and talked to Lorrie and church last Sunday. Lorrie told her all about her treatment being over, her and her sister taking a little trip....but Lorrie never inquired about us. I think she's scared of us, no really, I do! Otherwise she would at least call to see how we are. The two way street of life has a dead end sign on her side.

I move on! Forward! I look back but I don't stay there.

It's a wonderful day

I just finished watching about two hours of Kim Clement online. I have to say I'm pumped up and ready to go. It's a gloomy weekend outside but on the inside I'm hopeful, I'm joyful and the world tells me I have no reason to be because of all the bad stuff that is going on. I, however, know better than to listen to what those religous idiots ( ok I watch to much House ) tell me. Kim told the story of when he was 19 and living in South Africa his car ran out of gas as he and his friend were on their way to a meeting. He managed to get the car to the front yard of a house where there was a hose......he got out, turned the hose on and filled the tank up with water as his friend said, "are you crazy"? Kim said, "if God can turn water into wine, he can turn water into gas" and he continued to drive the car for three solid days. How cool is that? That's how I want to live my life.

It

Reminders

As I set here at six thirty in the morning, drinking a cup of Chocolate Raspberry coffee and listening to the birds singing their morning songs, I'm reminded about how life can take a turn in a blink of an eye, and I wonder, are we, am I, prepared? I think of my brother who suffered a heart attack yesterday, he popped some asprin, and they caught it all in time, but I consider the way he and my whole family eat. Ok, I love veggies and fruits, but even more I like sugar. Did Jesus eat pie, cake, cookies, frosting, cheesecake? No, and look at him, He probably wasn't sick a day in his life. Hmmmm, makes you think.

Lighten up

Ok, it's time to lighten up. After yesterdays Bible study, I came out of it light hearted. A spring in my step. I've been studying the book of Daniel.....Daniel was and did a lot more than just get thrown into the lions den, it's much more than a Sunday school lesson. It's a parallel between then and now. Did you know that what's happening now is exactly what the Bible tells us will be happening now. Amazing isn't it? Ok, end of sermon. I told them other women in my study that I had to confess that I don't like history, I don't care about what happened in the past. Though God delights in us when we seek to learn, He doesn't mind my honesty about all this. But I perservere and learn anyway. Even though I already know the outcome of where we are headed....we win! Yes the days are going to get worse, but God is in control and we still win! Ok, I'll go back to my lesson now. Though I'd rather stare at these nice looking men that are walking in.

Ahhh Yes, it's Monday

Let me start by saying, the older I get the more thankful I am for still being single. It was a captivating week in my life. Maybe captivating isn't the right word at the moment. I kept busy, typical Saturday morning of packing up the laptop and going to CJ's to write, watch Kim Clement, and listen to peoples conversations. And yes, play on Facebook. Later in the day the sisters and I took off for Peoria to do some thrift shopping and have lunch. Always nice, always tiring. Then sitting at home that evening, while slowly eating a piece of my sisters Chuckle, she doesn't like the black ones and I do, I lost a crown! Ugh! Been there for 25 years and now it's gone. Always something. Sunday was ok, the message at church was good yet I felt like it was sort of a 'downer' morning for some reason. Probably becaus the message was geared toward me and my problems with Lorrie. I find it very difficult to even look at her as she interacts with people. After how things have gone down with us, she seems so phoney. And the deal with "I'll be home on Monday and Tuesday if you want to talk" thing.......I'm not making an appointment with someone I've known for over 20 years just to talk. And besides, what's to say? I have sent her 'thinking of you' notes, I ask her how she is, I bump into her here and there and ask her how she is and still NOT ONCE in almost ten months has she said, "well how are you Jenny, how is your health". Nothing. I've been told by wise counsel that I am doing the right thing, she's the one that needs to learn about life. Life, the one thing I've learned about it is that it continues to go on. Zippity do dah......lets get on with today!